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FYE 9: Be Happy

When I woke up, I saw a pair of eye looking at me. He was smiling. 

"Good morning baby" he kissed me on my forehead. I picked up my phone na nakalagay lang sa bedside table. Kumunot ang noo niya nang makita niya kung ano yung ginawa ko.  And then he realized what I was doing...

I captured a photo of him smiling. 

At madami kong beses ginawa. Nung nakatalikod siya, nakasimangot, naka upo, nagtotooth brush, humiga ulit sa kama, nag video din ako. I don't want to miss this chances. 

I cancelled all my appointments hanggang bukas. The operation would be tonight. Ang bilis nga eh, kahapon ko lang nalaman na mahal ko na pala si Warren, ngayon naman mawawala na siya. I don't want him to donate his heart, gagawin ko talaga lahat para hindi lang matuloy,I've talked to him, cry in front of him..

but he made his decision and I can't change it.

"You want a pasta baby?" the way he's asking me, parang normal lang ang lahat. 

I nodded. Pumunta ako sa likod niya at vinideo-han ko siya. Natapos siyang magluto at patuloy ako sa pagvivideo. Thank God I have a 8gb for my phone, mahilig kasi ako sa music. I've erase half of them para mas madami akong mavideohan. 

Nagulat ako nang iniharap ni Warren ang camera sa mukha ko, ngumiti naman ako, tapos iniharap niya sa mukha niya at nagsalita. 

"Yan si Empress Courtney Zy, mahal ko, she was doing this video as a remembrance, as you can see--I'll be... leaving her tonight and I won't be coming back. I won't be there when she cries, I won't be there when she needs help with something, I won't be there in the morning when she wake up, I won't be here anymore.. with her" pumatak na naman ang luha ko. Nagiging iyakin na ako ngayon. Napansin yon ni Warren tapos iniharap niya ang camera sakin tapos maya maya sa kanya ulit. 

"Pero I want her to know.. that I love her so much, na kahit wala na ako sa tabi niya, hindi ako mawawala sa puso niya. I love you Empress, I love you, I  love you more than anything else in the  world. Pag wala ako, please don't cry anymore, ngumiti ka naman for my sake, I want you to be happy Empress, I love you " and then he kissed me passionately habang vinivideo parin namin.

"I love you too Warren, I love you too" and tears keep falling while he's kissing me.

**

4 more hours. I have only four more hours with him. Nandito pa rin kami sa condo niya. We were in his bed, cuddling. More like hugging each other. 

"Warren, why do you have to do this?" I ask for the nth time. Hindi naman siya nagaglit, sinasagot at sinasagot pa din niya.

"When I was 15 years old, my parents throw me out of the house with nothing, ako ang sinisisi nila sa pagkamatay ni Kyle, my brother, I was lost. Kung saan saan ako pumunta, gusto ko nang magpakamatay noon, hindi lang siguro isang beses kong ginawa yon pero hindi matuloy tuloy, it was because of Pauline. Siya ang kauna unahan kong naging kaibigan, kahit walang kwentang tao ako non, inalagaan niya ako at tinuring niyang kapatid, siya ang bumubuhay saming dalawa, hanggang sa pinakilala niya sa akin ang boyfriend niya, ang lalaking mahal na mahal niya, you know who he is.. Gab Alexander Deluna" he looked at me and kissed me on the lips then he continued..

"Naging magkaibigan kami ni Gab, they were so in love, but after a year nakipag break na si Pauline because she founds out na may taning na ang buhay niya, may sakit siya sa puso at sobrang mahina na ang puso niya, she was given atleast 6 more years. Umalis kami ni Pauline at hindi na nagpakita kay Gab. And then again, alam kong sobrang mahal ni Pauline si Gab that's why I came to him, pumunta ako diretso sa school niya, and I didn't know that I'll be going to meet the woman of my life, my dreams, my heart... it was you Empress" ngumiti siya but not looking at me. It's like he was reminiscing those memories.