Everyone makes mistakes. Some big, some small. One of mine was standing frozen while Namjoon walked away from me.
Usually I would've probably ran after him, slapped him and kissed the crap out of him while our eleven year old siblings got scarred for life, but I just stood there. Everything that had happened still seemed so unreal, the confession, the kiss, the stinging rejection, everything.
He didn't show up at school for two days and the florist was closed, Hyoseong was there every time to tell me that Namjoon couldn't work and I shouldn't have to either. Every time I opened my locker my heart sank, hell, every time I even looked at a flower I felt like I was wilting. I hated feeling like that, like I depended on a stupid boy who was too cowardly to face me. I was pathetic, and even I admitted it.
Hoseok was there throughout all of it, comforting, snapping me out of my pitiful, heartbroken state. Taehyung too, always apologizing for Namjoon's behavior, I didn't have the heart to tell him that no matter times he apologized, it wouldn't make Namjoon realize that he was being too hard on himself. It wouldn't make him realize that this was hurting me, too.
-----
I stared down at my finished painting in art, almost hitting myself. The feminist side of me wanted to rip it up and punch something, the rest of me wanted to just curl up and cry, as pathetic as it was.
It was of all the flowers I'd received in a bouquet, and in the middle of them was an Sakura. Thankfully, Taehyung was nowhere to be seen this period, so I didn't have to be embarrassed about him seeing it, just ashamed of myself for being so love-struck.
The bell rang. Slowly packing up, I gave my finished work to my art teacher, exiting and not bothering to look back if he was giving it an impressed or confused look.
Hoseok was nowhere to be seen in the corridor, so I went to the music department where his last period was. As I approached the corridor, I heard angry whispering. I walked quietly closer and felt my heart rate spike when I realized that Namjoon was one of the voices.
"I didn't help you give him the flowers at the festival, nor help you get an extra key to his locker for nothing Namjoon," I heard Hoseok say. "You can't do this to him, you need to tell him how you really feel, not lie to him every time he gets close to you."
"I can't Hoseok," Namjoon's voice made the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. "You know he deserves better, he's your best friend for fucks sake, shouldn't you be telling that to me, not the other way around?"
I heard my best friend sigh quietly. "He loves you Namjoon, that's all I care about right now."
"There's no way someone like him can love me. I'll believe that when he tells me, and he won't 'cause I know he's not big on the whole lying thing."
"Namjoon, shut up," Hoseok said. I felt my lips twitch into a small smile, Hoseok was the best friend I could have ever asked for. "You and Seokjin both need to grow some balls and confess your undying love for each other or, I swear, I will make you kiss and get married 'cause you're so damn perfect for each other."
Okay, maybe he wasn't exactly the best of friends that I could've chosen.
"Well I don't see you admitting your love for a certain someone," Namjoon sneered. I furrowed my eyebrows, Hoseok didn't fancy anyone, he would've told me, right?
"That's because I have no love to confess," Hoseok replied through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, and neither does your best friend, so lay off, yeah?" Namjoon said. After shooting a satisfied glance at Hoseok's annoyed face, he walked off in the opposite direction of me.
-----
That was the only glimpse of Kim Namjoon that I saw all day. When I went to pick up Jimin, I had butterflies fluttering about my stomach at the thought of seeing him and confronting him about my feelings, although they were completely dampened when I saw Taehyung in his place. It was funny how over such a short period of time, I had become so un-attracted to him and so love-stuck with the person I would've least expected.
The only interacting we made was a small, half-hearted greeting and a sympathetic smile on his account. We walked in silence towards the T that Namjoon and I usually said goodbye or made a last minute insult at.
"Um, I'll see you at school tomorrow then?" I said.
"Yeah, sure." he smiled. As I turned to call on Jimin, Taehyung made a slight noise and took out something from his bag. "I almost forgot. These are for you."
I looked down at the small bouquet of beautiful, bright pink and white flowers that had been handed to me and felt a big smile stretch over my face. Warmth and hope spread through my chest with every rapid beat of my heart. Did this mean that Namjoon still wanted to be with me but was too worried or prideful to admit it?
"Did...?" I trailed off, looking hopefully at Taehyung.
"Namjoon? Yeah, he did," Taehyung smiled.
I stared down at the flowers, stroking their long petals and thinking. I was going to confront Namjoon, I didn't care whether he liked it or not.
"The flowers are honeysuckle by the way," Taehyung said, snapping me out of my planning. "I better be getting these kids back to Hyoseong and Namjoon'll kill me," he started walking away from me.
"What do they mean?" I called after him.
"I don't think I'm meant to tell you," he grinned.
"Aw, c'mon! This could seriously effect my love life, y'know."
He laughed. "I'll give you a clue: it's three words, and what you better be saying to him soon, or me and Hoseok'll kill you."
I didn't even have to think about it. The definition was the three words I was going to say to Namjoon tomorrow.
I love you.
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