Loser

8. Two Creeps

I took one look at the two guys that stood under the tree and knew they would turn out to be useless. I was right. One of them was still sulking because he lost his ball and the other on was apparently afraid of the heights.

What happened to all gentlemen that were supposed to save a damsel in distress? It leaves no wonder why women demanded their rights. Damn right we did! As you can see men are useless.

“Can’t you catch me or something?”

My suggestion got refused rudely by the guy who still hadn’t told me his name. “Are you serious? Your huge ass would kill that poor guy!”

I took a deep breath to stop myself from jumping on him and choking him to death. It might be useful now that I thought about it. I would be on the floor safely again and he would get killed by my weight. “Come closer. What are your names, anyway?” 

They moved closer and the car dude was the first introduce himself. “I’m Mark.” The other guy nodded at me. “Tom.” I tried to memorize their names and then tried to talk them into helping me.

“Look, can you please help me down? It is your fault I am up there you know? You, Tom threw a ball in my face so I ran away and in front of Mark’s car and Mark didn’t stop in time. You should help me in order to repay me for your behavior and remember karma is a bitch. 

Tom obviously refused without even giving it a thought and Mark believed his fear of heights meant he couldn’t do anything. Luckily for me, Tom was still under the tree. My plan to just jump on him seemed better and better every second. “Come on, guys! Help me out here! I’m stuck if you didn’t notice!”

Tom mumbled something to himself but I was able to hear it even though it was barely audible. “That’s your problem not mine. You decided to climb the tree on your own and you knew that you need to climb down too.” That guy was just so annoying. “I heard that!” He didn’t respond and I decided I had enough. 

I jumped of the tree and landed exactly on him. I had luck and he cushioned my fall. He I hurt my leg a bit but it was nothing serious just a couple of bruises. I couldn’t see the state he was in since I was on him but judging by his girly scream he was either in horrendous pain or got startled. I didn’t care which. He said that getting stuck in a tree was my problem and that I should solve it on my own and I did. He didn’t care how I did it so it shouldn’t bother him that I landed on him.

I stood up and grinned. “Problem solved!” I exclaimed happily and listened to his groans patiently. “Stop complaining. I was the one who jumped off a tree not you.” I told him proudly. I was determined to not let him destroy my good mood.

“Well, you weren’t the one who got landed on! I freaking hurts!” He snapped but I was too busy with my happy thoughts to actually listen to him so I just nodded and pretended I was listening. It was such a wonderful day.

“That is your problem!” I retorted and remembered that I was heading home before I got rudely interrupted by the car. I turned around and left them. They were annoying if you ask me. 

“Hey, where are you going?” I heard them jell after me but decided that it was better to just ignore them and hope they wouldn’t follow me home like the last dude I met. 

My luck was as bad as always so they followed me. “What do you want, creeps?! I asked them narrowing my eyes at them. “I was supposed to take you to the hospital, remember?” The dude whose name I forgot said. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Like I would ever get in a car with two dudes that I met like fifteen minutes ago! Do I look stupid? Find another victim because this one isn’t going down! I am still young and I intend to have a long and boring life so go away!” 

I stomped away not caring about being mature. They were shocked into silence for a while but got over it quickly enough to catch up with me. “I’m sorry if I creeped you out. I just wanted to help. Sorry.” I sighed. “It’s okay but I really don’t need your help and I am not getting in a car with you.”

“That is just priceless!! A psychotic person who almost killed me is now saying that we are the killers. Yeah right!

I heard Tom mutter from behind. I gritted my teeth. I was not going to kill him I kept repeating in my head. I hoped that it would stop me from actually doing it.