I hate you i love you

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by sangoloove

by sangoloove

[Verse 1: Olivia O'Brien]
Feeling used
But I'm
Still missing you
And I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips
And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

I lay in my bed looking at my celling, as my tears flow down my eyes...I miss him...I just wanna feel his lips on mine again, his chapped but soft and warm lips...I don't get how I could miss another person so much..and every time I see him it just hurts....and I need him so much...why.... i culled up in a ball weeping harder.

[Hook: Olivia O'Brien]
I hate you I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

I love him and I hate him, no one was more to me important then him... I'm constantly thinking about him..i cant stop...I know he wants Victoria, his best friend, I can tell he needs her... He wants her more then me an it hurts so much to watch. I can see why tho...she's smarter more beautiful, hell she is a Better photographer then me. there is nothing about me that's special. I'm just plain an boring, nothing desirable like Victoria.

[Verse 2: Gnash]
I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too, and
I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I nevermind that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
If u wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go
I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night, I sing this song

*~*~Nathan's pov*~*~

"(Y/n)..." I sleepily say, my eyes fixtured on my celling...why can I never get her off my mind...I sat up, slinging my legs over the bed, getting up i get dressed, i grab my truck keys off my computer desk, headed out the door to my car.

Soon I get to the two whales and order coffee, I haven't felt hungry as of late ,the thought of eating with out (y/n)...I just can't.

Every time I put on my jacket I find sand from the times we would hang out at the beach, we would never remember what all happened, but them days were so good... I wander if she even misses me to...I never thought I could get so attached to a girl...or anyone for that matter.

I hear a few girls giggle by the entrance door, I turn my head... (Y/n) and her friends, my heart sinks shes so happy with out me, she obviously didnt need me, did she never truly love me?I hope she at least had some feelings for me...

I knew I should never have opened my heart...but I know it's good to have feelings..it shows we are human, but some times we have to leave people to get further in life, but still every day I sing the same song in my head. The song of her an mines time together.

[Hook: Olivia O'Brien and Gnash]
I hate you I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

(Y/n) looks over to see Nathan staring. in both of there minds the words. 'I hate you I love you..it makes me hate myself...' ran on repeat.

Soon another girl walks in an notices Nathan.

"Oh Nathan it's nice to see you here," she smiles

'Victoria'...(y/n) thought 'you want her you need her and I'll never be her Nathan' (y/n) eyes fog over at the thought. She just robotically walks to her table of friends.

[Bridge: Olivia O' Brien and Gnash]
All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah all alone I watch you watch her
She's the only thing you've ever seen
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me

my friends wave as the leave the diner..now here I am all alone watching Nathan with Victoria...like she's the only girl he sees...'he never cared about me...he never gave a damn about me...how has he not noticed that he is slowly killing me...how...?' I leaned closer to the table as the hood of my hoodie hide the silent tears that began to stream down my face, i didnt want others to notice...but out of all the peoples, I really don't want Nathan to hear, him seeing me like this would be devastating.

The tears slowly fall down my face and drip on the table under me as they slowly form a broken heart on the table..hah just like my heart, I'll never be the one he truly loves...