I see nothing. I do nothing. I think nothing. Yet I feel the tingling grass beneath my feet, and the prickling breeze on my skin. The warmth of the early morning Sun embraces me, and the frost of the winter air attacks me. I am calm.
Suddenly, I open my eyes...and I see all. I see the never-ending valleys down below. I feel the connection with my body and the mountain underneath me: Mount Kurama. I notice how a river clumsily zigzags through the distant grasslands in a desperate attempt to find the sea. I then admire the master craftsmanship of a little wooden building with rice paper walls, my home away from home: Toji Temple. A little rectangular building with a sloping roof and no real boundary to keep nature out. The cherry blossom trees either side tower over it, demonstrating nature’s dominance.
Then I turn. And faces appear. I stare into the narrowed eyes of my opponent: Akamatsu Mitsusuke. I shudder inside, then grip the handle of my katana. Now I am calm again.
Akamatsu and I have been training as Samurai for 8 years now. We spent countless hours together, perfecting our art. And now is the time to be tested. We must fight. The winner will the welcomed into the ranks of the Samurai warriors, renowned across Japan, the looser must face dishonour upon his family name. Despite our relationship, Akamatsu and I must now turn against each other.
As a Samurai, friendship is forbidden.
The dense tension is unbearable. There are at least 12 spectators here to observe our fight on Mount Kurama herself, birthplace of the Samurai. Then Tokugawa-sensei stands: our master, teacher, and father. Everyone bows. He gracefully walks towards Akamatsu and I, takes us both by the arm, and brings us together. Uncomfortable stares are volleyed between us. He makes his speech on how we have both trained hard, how we are both worthy Samurai, how he wishes the Samurai warriors could take us both, but then the axe drops: “There is only one place among the Samurai, only available to the best.”
But these are just words. Words which barely register in my thoughts. I must remain focused on my target. I close my eyes, whisper a silent prayer, then look upon Akamatsu again. Whilst I have always been the physically stronger; he has the mental edge. Without warning, Tokugawa-sensei shouts, “Yoi!” Reality hits home.
We both raise an arm and grip the handles of our katana. Tokugawa-sensei gestures for us to bow. We barely flinch. Disapprovingly, Tokugawa-sensei wishes us both luck. Luck will get me nowhere. We wait for that word, the word that will shape our futures. Then without warning, Tokugawa-sensei shouts, “Hajime!” The word rolls of his tongue and echoes through the valleys. He barely has enough time to dive out of the way. In a flash, both our katana explode from their sheaths and strike each other like lightening.
A terrifying shockwave of vibration shakes us both. I return to my senses, retract my katana and strike from the side into his left rib. Yet in a seemingly impossible move, his katana swing across his front and knocks mine clear off target. I see and opportunity and elbow him in the chin, then, like a viper I swing around and strike towards his right shoulder. By what seems like a millimetre I miss. I am frustrated; my fatal mistake.
For just a second, I loose concentration, I space out. I see the strike; I can’t react. The intimidating blade glares at me as I see it swing towards me. Its path is unpredictable. In a way, I want it to put me out of my misery...it does. The final strike comes from nowhere, the katana plunges into the right side of my chest.
In the same moment, Tokugawa-sensei leaps from his seat and almost in a shriek screams, “Yame!” - the word I never thought I’d hear which wasn’t in my favour. Akamatsu steps back, mockingly, to allow me to breath. I look up and see him smiling...smiling...my rightful victory. My instinct force me to bow in respect, then I retreat inside the temple. I cannot witness the bestowing of that esteemed title on my conqueror.
I look upon the disappointed statue of Amaterasu, the divine Sun goddess. As I child of her, I have failed. My destiny was to join the ranks of the Samurai to defend her creation: Japan. In that mission, I have failed. My whole life I have dedicated to training for my mission, and now I have failed. Once again, I close my eyes and reflect upon these thoughts. I make a decision.
I step out into the cool air again, take another look upon my enemy, who is now being granted his title. I turn in disgust, then walk behind the temple. An area shadowed by the building, on the very edge of Mount Kurama. I kneel down on the grass and close my eyes. The old Japanese saying goes, “Wake from death; return to life.” I now have only one option. From inside my robes, I procure a small dagger, a ‘tantō.’ Then I bring it up and fix my gaze on it. Then start mumbling insignificant words of prayer. There is nothing left for me in this life. Amaterasu awaits on the other side. The tantō glints in the morning Sun...she waits. I swallow my fear, my guilt, all emotion but strength. My final word passes my lips, “Sayōnara.”
Blade meets stomach...
