Open Letters To Those I Love(d).

To The Boy With The Headset

To the boy with the headset,
Hi, it's nice to talk to you again. Well, I don't know if I can say it's nice.
It's been awhile since  I met you, two years actually I think.
I've just been wondering, why the hell did you have to go and make me fall for you?
Honestly because of you, I see the world in a new perspective. I see the world as cruel as it is, and I grew up too soon.
The day I met you was the day I started to become distant with a friend I used to know so well.
That same day I knew deep down something was bound to happen, but bound to collapse.
That first night we met, I spent nine straight hours on a game server with you, my closest friend who introduced me to you, and a boy I never really did get to know.
It honestly still remains in the top RP's I've been apart of.

The day you asked for my Skype, little did I know that'd I'd spend the next year attached and addicted to my computer screen like never before.
I never would have thought that I would be mixture of nervous and excited every single time that I saw a bubble next to your name.
I admit, I'd squeal sometimes.
But I had to make sure not to respond to quickly! I didn't want to seem to clingy and all.
As time passed and I began to trust you more, we decided to take the next step in friendship. You were no longer a stranger to me, actually you were becoming a good friend of mine.
We made the move to start voice calling, because I insisted on being just a voice instead of a face.
( Or in better understanding, my insecurities and anxiety refused to let you judge me before you got the chance see me through my personality .)
I was so relieved when you said you were cool with that, and you understood.
Our calls lasted hours. Every night I'd wait while doing my schoolwork to see those three icons suddenly pop up on my screen asking me to either answer with a video call, voice call, or to decline.
I'd quickly shove my headset over my head, to mic already dropped down as my fingers swiftly clicked the green phone icon.
And there it was, your voice that started to control my brain.
Your voice was the highlight of my day in most cases.
Though in the beginning, half the time we just sat in silence and talked IN THE CHAT BOX because I was such an awkward thumb to talk to you.
You gave me so much time without pushing my limits that I adjusted soon enough.
About a month went by and I actually made a few online friends off of you, they took me in well, too well.
I remember your guys jokes, which always made me roll my eyes because half the time they were so stupid.
The one thing I did really like about you though was that you protected me throughout our friendship.
Whenever I was uncomfortable, you made them stop, and whenever I was in trouble you came to rescue.
So I have to thank you for that.
But back to group calls, I remember those times when you would "have to go" just so that you could get me alone in our nightly calls.
It was so new to me to just talk to someone for what started as only 3 or 4 hours, into an entire night.
The first time I fell asleep on you I woke up so embarrassed!
I hadn't even remembered falling asleep, but I woke up with my face buried in a pillow with the black and blue headset squeezing my head.
The first thing I did was stumble over towards my computer to read the message that you sent me telling me that I fell asleep, and that to have a goodnight beautiful...
You. Called. Me. Beautiful.
OH MY. A MALE. CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL.

Heh, you were always doing that to me, and I'm not sure if I ever showed how much it actually had an impact on me.

Because I was a blind 13 year old, I never picked up all of those small hints you continuously flirting.
Those were the days...

As the days went by, and the school year began, I envied you for your homeschooling.
I started to become distant with my school friends, even my best friend. As you crept into my life, those who used to surround me began to disappear.

But because of you, I was blind, and I didn't notice.

The breakdown of my days went by in almost the same order;