Becoming Muslim and falling in love...

Telling others of my newest decisions...

Chapter 2

So in all of this she has decided to start telling her family... Which is going eh... She is from Florida USA and a lot of people have incorrect concepts on Muslims and Islam. Her biological family is from a small town... She calls her cousin, he is backwoods hillbilly accent and all. Ring, ring, ring...

"Hello.", Jesse says. "Hey cousin!!! How are you doing?", Kahdeeja asks. She is trying to think of a way to tell him because she fears that they will be angry and rude about it, yet she is so happy to finally tell someone. He says," I am doing well, how are you?" She blurts out in a low scream with nervousness running through her every vein, " I am getting married!! I am becoming Muslim!!!"

She didn't know why she yelled it at him.... Or even why she was so nervous... Ugh, why was she nervous??? She was worried because it had happened all so fast that people would think she was being silly for making such a rash decision. She feared what her friends would think because they had heard nothing of him ever because she had tried not to think of him or talk about him before.... Hmmm.... She ponders if it is the greatest thing to tell others right now. But she wants everyone to know how happy she is... Then her cousin says, " Did you just say your getting Married?!!!"

Reluctantly she answers, " yes that is what I said."

He started asking questions and to my surprise he wasn't mean or rude, he for the most part respected my decision. And of course there was a jab or two in there where he made fun of it but he was doing it playfully. She was relieved at this hoping the rest of her family and friends would understand like he did... The good thing is as she told more people she got the same reaction, some variations of course and a few overly shocked people... She is still some what hiding it because she doesn't want to freak to many people out with so much change at once, one of the people I told looked at me dumb founded and said," why Muslim?"

I of course answered with it makes sense to me. Then some didn't want to offend me but I explained they could ask whatever they wanted that I don't judge them for their beliefs and I know they won't mine... There is however one person I haven't told who is my boss... She is more then a boss really, she is like my older sister too. She fears for me a lot and I love her to death but I think this would be too crazy for her, she is pretty conservative. I love her to death though... The biggest shock for me is the no conversation with men other then your kin unless you must do so... I am a talker and I talk to every one..

( I realized I changed over from third person to myself but I will fix it soon, sorry!!)

So it will take some getting use to but I can do it... So here is a little back ground information, so right now me and my ex live in the same apartment still because we both need the help. We don't sleep in the same room, I moved to the couch in the living room. He knows I am dating someone but not that I am getting married, Ahmed and me think it is best that way until we move in together when we are married. I keep good distance from him because I don't want to do haram ( things that are seen as bad in Islam) even the smallest haram to me is the biggest haram. My ex is not Muslim and he tells me I am confused and begs me not to leave but I told him I am soon, I told him that we would never be together again. I have found what my purpose in life is suppose to be and I am not going back to what I was before not for anyone. So every night Ahmed and me go for a walk after he gets out of work... They are the most fun times... The first time we went out we walk until 5 in the morning... Talking about what we want in life, our likes and dislikes, laughing and just having fun. At first I didn't think I would like him and be comfortable around him so quickly but I did... I felt so comfortable around him and he made me laugh, that won me over. We went to the park near my home and sat on the swings talking and acting like kids. Of course some of he time he doesn't understand me still so I have to figure out how to explain it to him... Which is fun, its like a game of figuring out how best to explain to him what I am saying... And it builds patience times ten... When he doesn't understand something he gets the cutest confused face... His forehead wrinkles, he looks up and bits his lip trying to figure it out... It's so cute... This feeling I have for him is something I thought was gone because I felt it once before and lost it... It's that feeling when you just know someone is right for you....