Secrets and Lies [COMPLETED]

Feelings

PHIL POV
Dan..
His deep dark brown eyes, beautiful brown hair, and his tan skin are perfect to me. His girlfriend is so lucky to have him. I catch myself staring at him strangely. He can tell. He's shooting me a glance of concern and question.

Dan: Phil, are you alright? You're staring..

Phil: Uh.. Yes.. I'm fine just daydreaming.

Dan: Daydreaming, huh? About what?

Phil: How I want..

How I want to kiss you Dan. I'm drowned in my own emotions. I love you but you can't know that. I refuse to ruin our friendship.

Phil: I'm thinking about getting a hamster.

Dan: You had to think about that.. but okay.

I have to be more careful next time. I know he only likes me as a friend. I can't ruin the bond we have.

DAN POV
Phil has been acting strange lately. I wish I knew why, but ever since I got a girlfriend he's been avoiding me when he can. I know he is keeping a secret from me. I wish we were as close to each other as we were before. I wish that I could be here for him like I used to be.

I pulled out my phone from my back, jean pocket and shot Jess a text.

To Jessica❤️
Hey babe. I will be there in 10 mins. Love you💕 xo

From Jessica❤️
Can't wait to see you!! Love you too! xo❤️💕💛💚💙💜

From Jessica❤️
Phil won't mind right? You said ever since I came along he has been distant.

To Jessica❤️
No, it's not your fault. He will be fine.

To Jessica❤️
You mean the world to me, don't forget that. Phil will just have to deal with us being together because I love you with all my heart💕 See you soon!

From Jessica❤️
Bye! 💕

Phil: Who were you texting?

Dan: No one important. I have to go out shopping.. be back later okay?

Phil: Yea.. okay.. bye..

Dan: Bye.

I hate lying to him like that but I'd rather not get him really upset.

PHIL POV
I know he's going to see Jessica. He doesn't have to lie to me. I guess I'm that worthless to him. You would think he would just tell me truth.
I then got up from the couch abruptly and headed to the bathroom.. cringing at seeing my disgusting self in the mirror. I dug through the wooden drawer by the sink until I found my razor blade. I set my wrist on the counter and sliced cut by cut going deeper and deeper with each slice. A sharp pain arose as blood trickled down onto the sink.. creating a pattern on the white surface.

I love Dan.. I see that now more then ever but knowing he doesn't feel the same way makes me want to kill myself. I know it's harsh but I'm just that in love. He wouldn't care if I killed myself anyways. I'm a disgusting fag who is in love with his best friend. Just think about it.. if I'm not here then Jessica and him can live a happy life. I cant do this anymore... I'm ruining his life. I'm a waste of space.

DAN POV
Jessica and I are deciding to watch Annabelle. She gets really scared so to her this is cuddling time.

She was getting jumpy. To calm her down, I decided that kissing her would help. I leaned in, but before our lips met, my phone buzzed. I instantly hoped it was from Phil. I like when he texts me. Jessica looked very annoyed with me when I reached for my phone. She can really be a bitch sometimes.

From Phil🦁
I'm so sorry Dan but I can't fucking do this anymore. I'm not worth living. I deserve to die. Im disgusting and I'm a fag. You deserve a better best friend and a great life with Jessica. I'm done.. Bye Dan.. I love you..

Dan: Oh shit! Fucking no!!! I have to go, sorry Jessica.

Jessica: But why?

Dan: It's Phil.. he needs me right now.

Jessica: Phil.. right..

With that I slammed the door and started speeding home. I did indeed get a text from Phil. Unfortunately it wasn't a pleasant one.

PHIL POV
I took the blade and put it up to my throat after finishing with my wrists. I was about to dig the blade into my neck when Dan came barging in. He hit my hand so the blade went flying.

Phil: No!

Dan: Phil, don't ever do that again!

Phil: I'm disgusting and a fag.

Dan: You're not disgusting and dont use the word fag, use gay it's better. I won't judge you. I care about you so much. I don't want you to die.

I could now see tears coming from Dan. I never seen him cry before. He lifted me up and brought me to the couch. He let me lay in his lap. This felt great.

DAN POV
I really enjoyed having Phil in my lap.. it felt nice. Now thinking back to the text he sent me, he said I love you. Did he mean as a friend or love me love me? Well I wouldn't be lying if I said I didn't have some feelings for him. Phil is hot and intelligent. Out of nowhere without any control, I leaned down and kissed him. He kissed back, but then I pulled away.

Dan: I'm sorry Phil but this is wrong. I have a girlfriend.

Then I left just like that..