Stupid Boy

Keisha

Laying in my childhood bed I just stared out the window. Home has always been my place of solace. Whenever I was dealing with something heavy or the world became too much, I found comfort in my home.

"Fancy seeing you here," My mom said, peeping inside my room.

I could tell she was just getting off because she had her briefcase in one hand and her heels in the other.

"Hi mommy," I smiled. It was always nice to spend time with my mom seeing how she was always so busy.

Stepping inside my room my mom sat her things by the door before coming to join me in my bed.

"What's going on princess?" My mom asked kissing my forehead as I sat up to make room for her.

I sighed. "Nothing mommy, just decided to stop by."

My mom pursed her lips while side eyeing me.

"Who do you think you're talking to Keisha? I know you better than you know your self. Being that it's like pulling teeth to get you to stop by, I know something's up. Talk to me."

I laid my head in my mom's lap and she started running her fingers through my hair and massaging my scalp like she would do when I was little and something was bothering me.

"It's a lot mom. Kassidy has been in her feelings and dealing with her own personal issues so I had no one to talk to." I said with my eyes closed. Rubbing my scalp was the quickest way to put me to sleep.

"About?" My mom asked. She knew me so well and was always straightforward.

I sat up. "It's nothing mommy. I just miss my best friend, that's all. I'm trying to be sensitive to her feelings but her not taking my calls is really making me feel some type of way." I shrugged.

"I'm not crazy Keisha. Who is he? Cause I know good and well that Kassidy don't have you in my house moping around! Unless there's something you need to tell me?" My mom asked with a raised brow.

"Ewww ma! Really? Heck no!" I laughed.

My mom insinuating that Kas and I were more than friends was hiliraious to me.

"Well I had to ask. The last time you came back home and hid out was when you loss your virginity to Lance Green and got scared when he said he loved you." She laughed.

I covered my face in embarrassment. Lance was my first everything but I wasn't too fond of "love." Besides look how love left my mom lonely and overworked. I refuse for that to be my life.

"Maaaaaaaa!" I screamed laughing. "Please don't bring that up."

"What? I'm serious. I liked ole Lance and he worshipped the ground you walked on. You had that boy wrapped around your finger and just threw him away."

Lance was a good guy. He always had my best interest at heart and would walk to the end of the earth to please me. Of course I messed it up because falling in love was a curse in my family. My mom lost my dad, my aunt lost her husband, hell even my grandpa passed away before I ever got to meet him.

I wasn't trying to deal with a broken heart so I protected myself at all cost. I stayed up too many nights hearing my mom crying and talking to God about my dad. Those were the memories that stuck with me from my childhood and I vowed never to fall in love.

Now I just use these guys as sponsors and make it known that I'm not to be taken serious. Some people may judge me for what I do, but it sure as hell beats living with a broken heart.

"I guess I'm scared of getting close to a guy. I never met daddy but from the stories and pictures you showed me, I know he was great. I just think if I put myself out there like that something will go wrong and I'll end up left with a broken heart." I said looking my mom in her eyes.

"You listen to me," my mom softly grabbed my chin. "Love is a beautiful thing and such a wonderful feeling baby. Yes, I lost the love of my life but we had some wonderful times together and created great memories. A love was taken away from me but I was given a greater love in you. I chose not to date again because I knew in my heart that your father was it for me. He gave me a love that was incomparable and no one can compete with it. That's my story though. My life is not yours Keisha. You can't be afraid to live and love because of losing someone. No one is on this earth permanently. While you're here you have to make the best of it and hope to find a love as sweet as the one I had the pleasure of experiencing."

Tears silently rolled down my cheeks as I took in what my mom was saying. It all sounded nice, but was easier said than done. I had trained myself better than men going to combat and any time I started to feel something I pulled back.

"I hear you mommy. I promise I'll do better." I said before snuggling in my mom's lap and falling asleep.
**********************************
"Hey." I said silently as I walked up to Slim who was standing on his porch when I made it home from my mom's.

He simply nodded his head at me as he inhaled smoke from the blunt hanging from his lips.

"Can we talk?" I asked him.

Still, he said nothing as he just eyed me. Feeling played I started to heat up from embarrassment.

"You know what, fuck it!" I said walking off to go inside my own home.

I wanted to apologize but I definitely wasn't about to kiss no ass. Nope! Not Keish. Fuck Slim. This is exactly why I keep my guard up.

Just as I tried to slam my front door it was stopped by Slim's foot. He pushed his way inside not bothering to remove his shoes.

"Nigga you got some fucking nerve just barging up in my shit wh-"

My words were cut off by Slim picking me up from the floor and shoving his tongue down my throat.