I'm crying right now.
But you don't see me cry.
Do you even care?
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In my life time I've had numerous of friends but none as close as two particular people, and one of them already left and forgot me. She promised me we'd be best Friends forever.
Did that happen?
No.
She said she would never leave my side.
Did that happen?
No.
We were supposed to go to highschool together.
Did that happen?
NO!
She left and I cried so hard.
I didn't realize I was friend depressed for a long time.
I tried my best making friends but none of the ones I made understood me like her.
Every night I prayed so that I could find my one true friend.
I know I sound like a 2 year old Barney show but seriously, these things hit me really hard.
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When that girl was still here I was always In an argument with this other girl who used to be my friend but we started fighting over the girl who left. It was when the girl left that we realized we were best friends. Let me remind you that the other girl left in gr.4.
The next year, the other girl named Noelle, and I became close because we were both in split classes where there was only a few people in our grade. Plus our classes we right beside each other so it made things ten times easier. I felt like nothing could go wrong.
She understood me.
She was my troll buddy.
She knew me like no other.
Her house was very close to the high school so I had no problem worrying if she wasn't going to that high school cause she lived legit right beside it. I had no worries from 5th grade to 6th.
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It's now 7th grade. This year was supposed to be the best year ever.
We promised each other.
But did that happen.
AW HELL NAW.
This turned out to be the shittiest year ever other than grade 4.
I realized I have had slight depression, cancer anxiety, and my best friend, Noelle is going to boarding school.
Yes boarding school. Far away.
She's been having problems with family and she hates it there so she asked if she could go to boarding school. Usually her mom says no but now, she just informed me, through text, its official.
It's official.
ITS OFFICIAL.
I'm crying, I'm losing one of he most important people in my life just when I need them the most.
Yes I know I'm being dramatic.
Yes I know it's still one year till away.
BUT,
I'm losing my best friend... Again...
And this time, hurts twice as much because I've shared more personal things with her, than the other girl. Some things I tell her, my parents don't even know about.
THATS HOW DAMN CLOSE I AM TO HER.
AND..
...and my number one fear other than dying has just became a reality to me.
Loneliness.
I'm going to be lonely and forgotten...
Replaced with someone new...
Someone who she can laugh with...
Talk with...
Understand....
Though she'll forget about me, I never will forget about her... Because...
she's..
She's my Best Friend.∞
Forever....
Just remember this:
Keep your friends close while they are still in your hands reach∞
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
I'm so sorry guys I haven't updated anything lately I have been down and depressed.
I'm also sorry for filling your feed with shitty crap no one gives a damn about.
Just felt like writing it out would be helpful. It is.
Also sorry for being such a drama queen but seriously in real life that's me...
Anyways thx 4 keeping up with me through this il work on updates sooner..
~love
Alayza
