Writing journal

What Do They Really Say?

What do people really say when they breakup? When everything is over for the last time, how to they phrase it?

I'm done. No.
It's over? Hell no, this isn't a movie.
We can still be friends and get along? Pfft, this isn't a daydream.

Because for one person it really is over, and for the other, well, not so much. There is only one person who stays awake at night hoping to be in the arms of the person they love and then drinks their morning coffee that will not keep them awake. There is always one who constantly feels as though something is missing. Their finger, their mind or their heartbeat.

Goodbye, i'll miss you? No.
Goodbye and good luck? Maybe.
Goodbye, I will see you soon? Ahh no, fuck that shit. How can I seriously have a genuine conversation with someone and look them in the eyes when they are the eyes I fell in love with? And hug the person goodbye when those are the arms that became the foundation in which I built my happiness?

No, the goodbye's aren't great. No, we cannot be friends. Call it stupid, call it childish, call it whatever the fuck you want but how can I love someone so much and then have to listen to them be happy without me? How can I hold a conversation with someone I used to hold at night? With someone who told me all about their day and left nothing out? I thought I knew everything.

I don't remember why we broke up or when but what I will never forget is the crying. The hurt. The pain in my chest every time I heard your voice or saw your face. I learnt to take the truth as naturally as the stars in the sky and your truth came from the tip of your tongue and from the blood in your veins and ran just as deep.

And the truth is, you will never find someone like me again. Stupidly crazy with a loving heart that would have always put you first. You'll never have someone who knows the truth before it is spoken and can see it behind the mask you wear. Who always knew from your words and tone of voice that something was wrong. Baby you will never find someone like me again.

So maybe that is why you gave up and left. You liked to play but I saw through your poker face and it wasn't much fun after that. I knew you a bit too well. I loved you a bit too much and maybe that is not how it should have been.

So this is how breakups should go.

"Goodbye. You will always be with me"