Thursday,
I didn't go to school today, I wanted to be with you. Your sister was at the hospital too. I fell asleep holding your hand, but you didn't know we were there. Until you wake up, you won't know any of us were there until you wake up..
Please, please wake up. I can't see you like this. I love you baby. Please, just for me.. Wake up.
Thursday; later,
Your grandma came and stopped by today earlier. She woke me with flowers, she told me it's the least she can do. You're her second grandchild, and I couldn't imagine being her right now. Or anybody in your family for that matter. I know that it's fucking killing me, and I'm just your shitty girlfriend.
Why couldn't it have been me? Why wouldn't it have been me in that crash? You're worth so much more than this, what if you don't wake up? You were going to med school in a few years. You can't give up this fucking easily. You're so brilliant.
Come on. Show me a sign, just once, that you can believe in yourself.
Friday,
It's three AM, and the nurses woke me up. They've started to feed you through tubes, you've gone too long without food. I cried when I say your motionless body lay on that hospital bed, I hoped you didn't feel what was happening. It looked painful.
These thoughts keep coming back to me, on why it couldn't have been me, why you. I don't have anything going for me in life. My mom is too hooked on drugs to actually fucking care about me, and my dad brings a new whore home from the bar every other night. It's just me at home. You're my wonder wall.
You're so beautiful, even with the tubes. Even when the bruises.
Through it all. I'm gonna be by your side. Know that I'm by your side.
Friday; Later,
I left for a few minutes today to go get my homework from school. Mrs. Colman held me in her arms for so long because she found out. She wanted me to tell you that she misses you. Our first period misses you. Everyone cares so much about you, please just let them tell you. Listen to me when I tell you, we love you.
I went and got your homework too.. I figured I could do your English homework, maybe some of your Spanish. I'm not gonna let you get behind because of this.
My dad should be calling soon. I hope, he probably is too busy fucking a drunk bitch from the corner of My Ex-Wife Is A Meth Addict, and I Probably Have Several STDs/Children I Don't Know About street. Whatever. As long as I'm here I'm safe.
