One Shots

Someone

Surprise, I'm still here!!! I wrote this when I was kind of lonely and sick of being sad
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I want to disappear
But only for some days.
I want to be someone else
But no one in particular.
They would a bold person;
acting without the anxiety of others.
They would be a carefree person;
free from responsibly of another.
They would be a confident person;
criticism from others means nothing.
I'll come back to myself
I promise
But for only a few days,
can I be someone else?

This person,
this not-me.
She would be beautiful;
He would be smart;
They would be happy.
Not-me wouldn't second guess
the simplest of thoughts.
Not-me wouldn't have an endless list of regrets.
Not-me wouldn't have a head full of static,
blurring all they think.
Not-me wouldn't feel anxiety;
every word spoken repeated forever.
But...
that is not me.
It will never be me.

For I am me.
My every act is backed
by fear of thoughts and words
My very mind is judged;
myself its harshest critic.
My head is muddled
Loud and confusing
My eyes are sad;
Sad from the inside.
Sad from the outside.
I care for everyone
So who is left to care for me?
I am me;
And I always will be.
I am alone and afraid;
Afraid to continue...