Let It Be Me

4

It's 3AM and Mikaela is wide awake, staring at her ceiling. She's been sleepless for the past couple of weeks, all because of one single person, Patrick. Her feelings for her best friend has been affecting her actions towards him. Whenever Patrick would hug her, she would pull away right away, scared that she might not be able to let go of him at all. Whenever he would tell her that he loves her, she would answer, but her love and his love have two completely different meanings. This madness has got to stop, she thought.

Mikaela got up to get a glass of milk downstairs, hoping that it would help her sleep. When she got to the kitchen, she saw her brother, Miguel, reading a cookbook while cracking eggs.

"You do know that it's 3 o'clock in the morning, right?" Mikaela asked before sitting on the stool that is closest to her brother.

"Yes, I'm aware. Tough night?" Miguel replied casually, like baking at 3 in the morning is something that normal people do.

Mikaela just nodded as she took a sip of her milk. She just sat there, watching her oldest brother mix the batter for the brownies he's making. Mikaela's always been close with Miguel. Being the youngest and the oldest, the two have very little in common, and that was what made them very close. They always share stories with each other, which is very interesting since their stories have a twelve year gap.

"Is it because of that best friend of yours?" Miguel asked without looking at Mikaela.

Mikaela just gave her Kuya a smile that basically answered his question. Mikaela's very open to her family. No big secrets, no lies. This is very easy to do since her family is nothing but supportive and understanding.

"You should just tell him how you actually feel, you know, before it's too late. You never know what tomorrow will bring."

"It's not that easy Kuya, you know that."

"It is easy bunso. You love him? Tell him. He breaks your heart? Well, you have three brothers who can break his face. Stop making it complicated. Change is inevitable. Of course something will change between you two, but that does not mean that that's a bad thing. Take the risk Mikaela, find out yourself if it is worth it."

•••

'I need to talk to you.' were the only six words that Mikaela told Patrick the next day right after she woke up. Her 3AM talk with her Kuya knocked some sense into her brain and now, she is finally ready to tell her best friend how she really feels. She got ready, physically and emotionally, to talk to Patrick. She headed to his house to pick him up. She didn't wanna confess inside his house where his family might hear her get rejected.

She parked in their driveway and took a few deep breaths before entering the Riveros' house. She was greeted by his mom, who gladly let her in after kissing her cheek. She saw Patrick's family having breakfast in the dining room. She gave each one of them hugs and kisses before asking where Patrick was.

"Right here." Patrick said as he goes down the stairs. Mikaela noticed something different about him the moment she laid her eyes on him. It wasn't a physical difference, it was more of a behavioural difference. The two have known each other for so long that they can barely hide anything from each other anymore, which made hiding her true feelings very difficult for Mikaela.

"I'm just gonna borrow Trick for a couple of hours if you don't mind." Mikaela said, not talking to anyone particular. Patrick's parents just nodded before the two left. The car ride was quiet. It was not because they didn't know what to say, but because they knew that it was right not to say anything. They decided to talk at a coffee shop that wasn't very far from their neighbourhood. After ordering, they sat at the very back of the cafe for some privacy. It wasn't long until Mikaela noticed that something is bothering Patrick.

"You okay?" Mikaela asked.

"I just, I um..." Patrick sighed. "I need to talk to you as well."

"About what?"

"It's Ate Clara. She's sick."

"Sick?"

"She has leukemia. That's the reason why she left, to get treated. She got leukemia when she was 11. She had it for 3 years. It went away after chemo, but the doctor told her last year that it's back, and it's much stronger than before. She came home because she wants all of us to go to Cali with her, before she, before her time comes." Mikaela crossed the distance between them and wiped Patrick's tears before hugging him tight.

"It's all gonna be okay. I know you're strong, Ate Clara's strong, your whole family's strong. You'll get through this. When are you all leaving?"

"Friday." Patrick answered quietly

"But it's Wednesday already!" 

"I know. Mom wanted to leave as soon as possible, and turns out, Ate Clara already bought our tickets. I'm sorry I have to leave you."

"Shhh. Don't be sorry. You do what you have to do okay? I'll always be here for you. Just text me or call me, or DM me so it's cheaper. I'm never gonna be too busy for you okay?"

"How lucky am I to have you?"

"Very. So don't you dare replace me with a puti."

Mikaela's statement made the atmosphere between the two of them lighter. Mikaela kissed Patrick on the top of his head before sitting back down. The two kept on eating while catching up and telling each other stories. When they finally finished, which is about 3 hours later, Patrick decided to pay the bill. Mikaela insisted to pay for her half, like what they usually do, but Patrick was stubborn and did what he wanted to do. 

After paying, Mikaela drove Patrick home right away. If it were a different day, they probably would've gone to the mall or watch a movie or something. But Mikaela knew that Patrick had a lot to do, since he's leaving in two days. Before getting off, Patrick gave Mikaela a hug and a kiss on her forehead. 

"Thanks for today Ella. I'll see you tomorrow?" Patrick.

"I'll see you." Mikaela replied. 

Patrick got off and started opening their gate. Mikaela was about to leave when she saw Patrick running towards her.

"Did you forget anything?" Mikaela asked.

"You said you were gonna tell me something." Patrick replied. Mikaela has completely forgotten about that. She figured that her best friend already has so much going on, and she didn't want to burden him even more by confessing her feelings for him, when he's leaving in two days.

"Don't worry about it. I'll tell you when you get back, so you better come back!" Mikaela. Patrick just nodded before going inside once again. Three seconds later and here he is again, running back to Mikaela.

"You really can't get enough of me huh?" Mikaela joked. Patrick didn't laugh, instead, he hugged Mikaela again, a little tighter this time.

"I just came back to tell you that I love you." Patrick whispered. Mikaela couldn't help but smile. She wrapped her arms around Patrick, not wanting to let go, but she knew that she has to. Boy, what is she gonna do without her best friend by her side? She secretly wiped the tear that escaped from her eye before whispering in Patrick's ear.

"I love you too Trick."