The Last Normal Day

Chapter 3: I can't go back

    I woke up screaming again as the memory came flooding back at me. The phone call, his shaky voice, the last shot that ended my infinity. All of it, gone. This wasn't the first time I've seen him, or heard his voice calling me. It's been almost 2 months. One more month till schools out. I'm almost free. From people, their always telling me sorry, I'm sorry for your loss, he will be missed, he was so young, ect. How many more "I'm sorry this happened to you" is their going to be until someone wakes up and thinks " Wow this is pointless I can say I'm sorry 1 million times and it won't change reality." He's dead. That's it. He put a bullet through his brain because I wasn't enough for him. I'm not enough for anyone. I will never be. I'm useless. I couldn't save his life. And no "I'm sorry" can ever change that.

   No one understands why. Not even my dad. It's like clock work, every night I wake up screaming seeing his face again, I'm not able to go back to sleep so I sit there for about an hour thinking about how useless I am and how I'm no good for anyone. Every night. Every night I see his face. His smile, his sadness, his death. His voice from the last time I saw him. V

   I woke up screaming again. I did the ritual of sorrow and as I was about done losing my mind I heard my dads voice. Begging me to come out.

" I heard you crying. Baby please let me in"
He can't no I think he can't know.
" Give me a second dad."
I heard him opening the door so I just faced the wall. I didn't even hear what he was telling me. I just nodded and went along with it. He finally left and the tears came and went all night.

I woke up when someone was knocking on the door. I answered and I was surprised to see a police officer standing at me door.

"Amanda Sanders?" He asked me raising his eyebrow at me.

"Yes that's me." I saw awkwardly.

"Do you mind if we ask you a few questions about our on going investigation?" He said slowly.

We met eyes. " What investigation?"

He slowly met my eyes. "We have reasons to believe that your friend Kevin Gomez was a victim of first-degree murder."