Take Me to Loveland

You Meddling Brat

~*~Liv's P.O.V.~*~

"When are you gonna call him?" Rhiannon was asking as we folded shirts in the back room at the store. "I haven't heard you mention him in two and a half weeks. Not since you went to get the phone."

I shrugged. It was true, I hadn't called or texted Clemens since I saw him last. That didn't mean he hadn't tried to contact me; he had. I just couldn't bring myself to answer back. My anxiety was in high gear after our last encounter with one another. I had told him so much personal stuff about not just me, but my best friend as well. I told him things that only Rhiannon knows about me. I just opened my mouth, and it all just kept pouring out. I had to pretend like my dad needed me just so I could get away before I told him anything else. I was terrified of getting close to him.

I had been in two serious relationships, and they both ended horribly. The first one happened when I was about fourteen and a freshman in high school. The boy was a junior, and he started out amazing. We'd talk on the phone for hours and hold hands walking down the hallways. It was a dopey teenage girl's romantic fantasy... Until I let him take me to prom. The whole thing ended much like "Carrie", minus the pig blood and murder. He made me meet him there, so I did, wearing my mom's favorite cocktail dress. It was navy blue with a sweetheart neck line and a beaded bodice. I felt like a princess. I walked in to the ballroom at the Hilton, to find him arm-in-arm with Aubree Jackson, a cheerleader from his year. As soon as they caught sight of me standing there, looking betrayed, they laughed at me and started throwing water balloons at me filled with bleach, ruining my dress. I switched schools after that.

I went on casual dates with a few nice guys after that, but I never let them go very far. I didn't want to get that close to someone again. It wasn't until I was seventeen,that I trusted another guy to be exclusive with. He was a charming guy, about twenty-one years old, who worked at a liquor store. He was always nice to me and would bring me my favorite drink. Fuzzy navels.We saw each other for a few months, when he tells me he was ready to go "all the way" with me. He had pumped me so full of sugar, and sweet nothings and even dropped the giant "L"word on me. By this point, I was pretty sure, in my seventeen-year old mind, that he was the one and that I couldn't be without. So, we did it. And that was it. I never saw or heard from him again.Instead, I was left with a broken hymen and a bruised heart. I never took a boyfriend again. I kept my male excursions, as rare as they were, with no strings attached. Any time a guy tried to make me his"girl", I'd find myself deleting his number and avoiding them.

"I don't know if I want to talk to him..." I replied, grabbing another box of shirts to sort.

"Bullshit!"Rhiannon exclaimed, slamming her hand on the sorting table, causing a stack of folded shirts to topple over. She disregarded them and continued. "You know that's lie. How many times did you come running into my room to show me some cute picture or to show me some video clip of him? And now, Clemens is right the fuck in front of you, and you and to do nothing?What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You know full well, what, Rhiannon!" I exasperated.

"Yeah, I do know, and I think you've been a big fucking baby about boys for too long. Your dream boat is right there, at the Venus fucking Breeze,and his number is in your fucking phone, and you've just been sitting in your room watching fucking videos of him, feeling sad and sorry for yourself." She seethed. "You're pathetic, Livian. You can't keep doing this to yourself." Rhiannon turned on her heel,and walked toward the door that lead to the front of the store.

Her words stung plenty, but they stung only because they were true. I couldn't help my anxiety. I couldn't just wish it to go away. I had spent years trying, and failing. I felt so hopeless sometimes,because there were parts of me that wanted to become close to another person. To have someone to lay in bed with late at night, curled in each others arms, not talking, just listening to each other breathing. That would be a dream come true. And I could see myself doing those thing Clemens, and the thought of it made me nervous and anxious.

Rhiannon and I got off work at the same time, so naturally, we carpooled. The ride home was a little tense, which told me that she was still miffed at me.

"I'm scared, Rhi."I said, finally breaking the silence between us. "It's not just getting close to him, I'm afraid of, because I want to very badly.It's if we do go somewhere, that I'm scared of."

Rhiannon's lip twitched. She really didn't like having her name shortened. Kids in school were awful to her and would call her "Rhi-tard"or "Rhi-Rhi". I was the only person who was allowed to call her anything but her full first name. Rhiannon was known cut ties with anyone who tried to turn her name into a nickname. "What's so scary? He's a real cutie. And he's probably beating himself up over you not calling."

"He's from Germany, Rhiannon. He lives there. He's only in America visiting for four months. That's what scares me." I admitted. I had been thinking about this fact non-stop since I met him. "He's going to go back, and I'm going to be here, and we'll have had a whirlwind romance for nothing. It can't work."

Rhiannon sighed sympathetically. "I hear you there, honey. I almost forgot about that. But why should you let that get in the way of right now? He's here now, and he wants to get to know you, that should be obvious, seeing as he played dumb to get you to help him get a cell phone."

"I doubt he was 'playing dumb'." I rolled my eyes, using air quotes.

"Of course he was. You think the concierge at the hotel just sits and twiddles his thumbs all day? Clemens could have asked the hotel to help him, seeing as it's their job to accommodate guests. And I'm pretty fucking sure the man has stayed in enough hotels to know what a concierge is for. But no, he picked up the phone and call you."She said. "Just go for it, and cross the bridge of his departure when it comes. It may work out. But you'll always hate yourself if you don't try."

"You're right, Rhi. You know I have a tendency to overthink things. I just hope I haven't ignored him to the point that he lost interest." I said.

"Oh, he hasn't." She said knowingly. I looked sideways at her, and she was wearing her devious smile that told me that she knew something I didn't know.

"How would you know?" I asked slowly.

"I did a thing." She replied coyly. Then she reached into her sweatshirt pocket, and pulled out my phone and tossed it into my lap. My eyes widened as I understood what she meant. That limey bitch hijacked my phone and impersonated me!

"Oh my god!" I started frantically looking through the text messages. "He's COMING TO THE HOUSE?!" I dropped my phone on the floor, and glared at Rhiannon, picturing myself wringing her neck. "WHY'D YOU GO AND DO THAT FOR?!"

"Because you're chicken shit, and I'm a good friend." Rhiannon said as we pulled into the driveway. "You're welcome." She added as she got out of the car, leaving me in the front seat, seething. I got out of the car, slamming the door hard. I decided to walk down to the mailbox, just to put some distance between me and Rhiannon. I swear I could kill her right now. She had no right! She hadn't told him anything really intimate. She basically apologized on my behalf for blowing him off, and invited him over to our house for drinks and a movie, but still. It's my life she's poking at. I knew where her intentions were, and they were clearly in my best interest. She had always looked out for me. After the prom incident, Rhiannon went a little postal. She stalked Aubree Jackson down in the locker room,and cut a huge chunk out of her long black hair. Aubree had to get her hair cut boy-short to fix it, and Rhiannon was expelled from that school, and transferred to the school I had run away to. To this day,I still laugh at how ridiculous Aubree looked after that. And every time she saw me and Rhiannon after, she'd quickly walk the in the other direction, clutching the back of her head for dear life.

After smoking a cigarette, I felt better about the whole thing.Rhiannon only did what I wouldn't do. She was only trying to push me in the right direction. I needed to get over myself and really work on my issues. Otherwise, I'd never be happy. I'd never stop feeling this empty pit at the bottom of my heart. I'd never be complete.