Lost

I woke with beads of sweat on my forehead. I had the same dream i've been having for the past year. Ashley's death played over and over again. After I rose to my feet, my alarm went off. I groaned and walked over to my nightstand and pressed the small button. "Morning!" Adrianna said. "Morning." I replied. I looked around at my familiar room. It was small, yet cosy. I remembered for an instant that this used to be Ashley and I's room. Looking back at the ground, I get my toiletries and walk to the showers. 

After my shower, I blow dry my hair dark brown hair, and curl it, getting ready to pull myself through the first day of classes. As I pick things out of my closet, I think of what Ashley would say for each outfit. I shake her voice out of my head and keep moving. I spent a full ten seconds looking in the mirror, staring into my ocean blue iris. “Spencer!” Adrianna yelled. I grab my bag and run across campus to my first class of the day. I walk down the hall, passing the already closed doors. None of the teachers seemed to care when I showed up anymore. They were beyond happy that I even came. I open the door to my classroom and take a seat. "Okay so today is going to be my introduction. I will hand out the syllabus before you leave and you will sign the papers and get the supplies I ask. Correct?" The teacher says. Most of the students nod their heads in agreement. As the teacher continues, Travis, leans over to speak to me. "I'm having a party tonight at my house. I was wondering if you would come?" He asked pleadingly. I thought about it for a moment and immediately decided against it. I couldn't survive a real party without Ashley. She was the only person that could actually get me to talk at parties. She introduced me to Travis, he was a typical frat boy, that loved to party. Travis asked me out right before Ashley died, and we haven't talked since. "I'll go." I decided. I will probably show up for an hour or two and leave after I had a couple of drinks. "Great." He said leaning back over his empty sheet of paper.

After class, Adrianna ran over to me. "I saw Travis talking to you what did he say?" I told her what he had said. "Oh my god he's still interested in you!" she said and playfully nudged me. "I remember when you said you had a crush on him when Ashley.." She stopped and picked up the conversation. "Well, I'm going tonight. I'll meet you there?" she asked. "Sure." I responded. I walked to the café and grabbed lunch. I sat in my usual spot by the windows, and looked out to find students rushing to their classes in the pouring rain. The once full table was now empty, and Ashley's old friends sat at different seats now. I finished my lunch and stood up. As I was walking to the garbage an angry girl stormed past me. "Harry what the hell? I can't believe you didn't wake me up! I missed all my classes!" She yelled. "Not my problem." Someone stated at the table across from her. The girl walked up to him and slapped him in the face. I gasped as well as everyone else who was watching the scene. The girl stomped out and the boy shrugged off the slap and continued to eat his food. 

I walked back to my dorm to get ready for the party. I had trouble on deciding what to wear. My closet was fairly empty, and I desperately needed to go shopping. In the end I picked out a navy blue blouse and white pants. I checked my phone for a moment to check and make sure the party wasn’t cancelled. When I found no new messages, I checked myself one last time in the mirror before I left. Leaving my dorm, I ran to my old beaten car through the pouring rain and jumped in. As soon as I got in, I put the keys in the ignition, and turned the heat on full, and left for the party. 

Screaming girls and laughing guys filled my ears as I walked into the front door of the frat house. Everyone surrounding me had red cups in their hands as i proceeded inside. I searched for the kitchen so I could get a drink of my own. As soon as I grabbed a cup of whatever, I stayed there and drank practically the whole thing. Today is a year and a week since Ashley died, I thought. I so desperately wanted her name out of my head, and I was willing to go to great lengths to forget her. “What’s this?” I asked someone next to me. “You’ve got to try it! One cup of this will get your head spinning.” He replied chugging the rest of it. I shrugged, and took a large sip. I swallowed as fast as I could, reacting to the horrible taste. The burn in my throat hurt terribly, but I didn’t care. I left the kitchen to look for Adrianna or Travis, so I wasn’t completely alone. I reached the backyard and walked around the full pool, with hundreds of people in it. I watched as a girl strip down to a bra and jump into the pool, which was followed by a cheer from the surrounding guys. 

I sighed to give up and walk inside when someone tapped my shoulder. “Hey I’ve been looking all over for you.” He said smiling. I smiled back at Travis, and looked down at my shoes. “Where’s your drink? We’ve got to get you a drink.” He said walking over to someone close to him and requesting a drink I didn’t know the name of. “Let’s go sit somewhere.” he suggested. I followed Travis back inside until we reached a couch full of people playing spin the bottle. “Dude, move.” He said. I thought that was a little rude, but decided against saying something to him. “Want to play?” He asked with hope. “Not really.” I replied. I haven’t kissed anyone since Ashley’s death. Just as I finished my thought, Travis’ friend came back with a red cup full of the same drink I had earlier. “Drink up” He said. I felt the cold liquid go down my throat again, this time with a larger burn then the last. Travis made small talk with me while we watched others play spin the bottle. The room started to spin itself as I finished the last of what was in the cup. “Hey I have something to show you in my room.” He whispered in my ear. “Okay.” I replied. 

I used his hand for stability as I followed him up the stairs into his room. He unlocked it, opened it, andled me inside. As soon as the door closed he pushed me up against the wall, both hands pinned to the wall. Before I could take in what was happening, we were kissing. The kiss was sloppy, considering we were both drunk. As he led me to his bed, thoughts popped into my head. “Wait.” I said pushing him back. “Common, lets not think.” He said smiling, and proceeding to kiss me. “Stop.” I said pushing him back again. I started to leave, but Travis grabbed my wrist and forced me onto the bed. I squirmed and tried to scream, but nothing came out. As he started to undress, I thought quickly. As he climbed on top of me, I kneed him in the gut, and he fell to his side, whimpering. I got up as fast as my body would let me and opened the door. I stumbled down the hallway as everything spun. “Spencer get back here!” He yelled. I glanced behind me to find Travis almost directly behind me. How did he get here so fast I thought. As I reached the stairs, someone grabbed my wrist once again. I turned expecting to see Travis, but it was someone else. His eyes were green, with a hint of fire, his hair was brown and curly pushed back. I noticed two tattoos, on both his left and right arm. He almost thrust me into a room behind him before I realized who he was. “What the hell?” I yelled at him. “First Travis now you? Actually you’re worse!” I spat, proceeding to leave, only to be grabbed by the wrist again. “Let go!” “Shut up.” He whispered. For a reason I don't know, I actually stayed quiet. "Spencer!" I heard a faint voice coming down the hallway. Through the sound of the beating music you could hear him slamming doors. I was instructed to sit down, which I did while he watched the door. Slowly, the door opened. Travis' face appeared. "Spencer!" He said joyfully. "Move." He said to the guy still standing in his way. "You’re drunk Travis, leave her alone." He defended. “I think the lady can speak for herself.” Travis calmly responded. They both looked at me, looking for a response. I stayed silent for a moment, trying to decide if I should go with Travis or stay in this room all alone with this creep. “Travis leave.” I decided. A smile flashed across Harry’s face and he pushed Travis out of the room. “Thanks.” I sighed. I got up, and started to leave when I saw his mouth part open, but nothing came out. I left with the thought of what he was going to say.