Freak Week- Day 4: Who dun dun dun it?!

Who dun dun dun it?!

Deary Robo-Diary,

The dreaded Day 4 of Freak Week has come upon us, and I can say, without a shadow of doubt in my mind, that I'M LEGITIMATELY FREAKING OUT! Someone wants to destroy me! But worse, it's Day 4! DAY 4! My life is over! Everything is going to come mushing out of me like Mrs. Louis' Meatloaf Monday surprise! What's more frightening; having someone want to destroy me or telling Crush how I really feel about him?...Definitely the second the part.

But why would someone want to destroy? I'm such a good person! Sure I've made some mistakes, but who can say that they have never pushed a kid off the swings because they were hogging it too long when it was clearly their turn to get off so some other kids could soar through the air like a duck?....It's was second grade! Don't judge me! Besides, Joshua was totally hogging the swing on purpose just so he could try and fly like a super hero.

Anyway, everyone else in our basement group received the message on their phones. Each phone reverberates in their pockets and they all pulled out their phones to see the message, except for Marmie. Immediately, all eyes turn to her. Marmie looks around and whistles inconspicuously to a tune from a nursery rhyme.

"Marmie, Marmie, Marmie," Banana repeats as she walks over to Marmie. "How could you?"

"How could I what?" Marmie questions with her arms crossed over her chest. "If you're accusing me of something Banana, just come out and say it!"

"Okay, I will." Banana took in a bathtub-size gulp of air before she shouted at the top of her lungs; "YOU DUN IT!"

Everyone in the room gasps. Marmie, my friend since kindergarten, wanted to destroy me? Le gasp! (That's French by the way for WHAT THE WHAT MARMIE?!) "Now hold on just a minute," Marmie snarls like a dog hyped up on rabbis. "That's a big accusation Banana! Do you have any proof to back it up?"

"Of course I do," Banana counters confidently. "For example, you don't have your cell phone on you! Care to explain where it is?" I had noticed that too. All these days we had been stuck at school, not one time did I see Marmie pull out her phone to take a selfie or comment on social media how Jessica Reesa had the most debatable butt this side of the country. Marmie practically lived on her phone for goodness sake.

"Yes, I can explain where my phone is; you broke it, remember Banana?!"

"....Oh yeah! Sorry about that by the way. But that doesn't mean you're innocent, Marmie!" Banana pulled out her bubble detective pipe from her back pocket and started blasting some colossal bubbles out from it. "You still could've gotten to a school computer!"

Marmie gave her the Gurl-You-Have-No-Idea-What-The-Heck-You-Talking-About look and then tapped her foot upon the ground faster than a rabbit on the run from a carnivorous fox. "I couldn't have done it. I've been down here the entire time! In fact, I haven't gone upstairs to go to the bathroom! I've been using a bucket from the janitor's closet!"

Okay, too much information. Marmie is definitely telling the truth. Besides, Marmie is a clever girl in her own senses but not when it comes to things like hacking a school WIFI to send an incriminating message.

"So, if Marmie didn't do it, who did?" Crush wonders as he runs a hand through his perfect blue hair.

"Well we better figure out soon," Jim proclaims, lifting one of his wings up to point to the ceiling. "This is Day 4, remember? Soon we will be floating about like Dandelions freshly blown into the wind by a seven-year old girl wishing for a pony."

I look at my brother with an unsurprising look. He's said more non compos mentis things in his sleep.

"Well we're gonna figure this out or my name isn't BANANA ANNA SAVANNAH FOFANNA THE 3RD!" Banana blurts out at the top of her lungs with her bubble pipe pointed towards the ceiling.

"I thought your name was-" Harry unsuccessfully began.

"No one asked you Harry!"

"Okay, okay, let's all settle down here," Mr. Kevin tries to defuse the situation. "We're all jumping to conclusions here and as the only adult here, I say we quit all these accusations before we say something we're going to regret."

I would've interjected but I notice Mr. Kevin's toupee floating off of his head and felt my stomach sink down into my lower intestine quicker than a Cheetah running after a female Gazelle. (No offense to female Gazelles, I swear!) Mr. Kevin's toupee wasn't the only thing that starts floating; boxes soon follow in the toupee's lead, with the trolley losing its hold on the concrete floor next, and then the rest of us start to hover off of the ground as well. I try to stay on the floor but can't find anything to weigh me down.

This is bad, this is really bad! I exclaimed in my brain. What I wouldn't give for it to start raining Shih Tzus again, or for another Musical Malaise to start up a catchy tune that would make us sing, or even another set of Truthquakes to transpire to make everyone fall over and say embarrassing truths from summer camp! Anything but this torture that the world wants to put me through!

"Nobody panic," Mr. Kevin says with panic laced in his voice. "We'll be fine! I've been through worse situations with my wife. In fact, one time we-"

"No one asked you Mr. Kevin!" Harry shouts. "I'm sick of hearing about your problems with your wife! I've got worse issues; I'm breaking out in pimples, and I can't suppress this overwhelming crush I have on Banana!"

Harry immediately clams up and covers his mouth. Banana blushes a bit as she does a lazy summer-salt in the air. Then she uses the lack of gravity to go over to Harry and smack him across the face. "You can't handle me Harry! I'm a free stallion! I have to go where the wind takes me! Besides, I wouldn't go out with you, even if you were the last boy on Earth!"

"Well, technically, you would kind-of have to," my brother interjects. "In order for humanity to have even the slightest chance in being able to reproduce, statistics show that you would more and likely be more compatible with Harry than anyone else here."

Marmie enchantingly sighs as she looks at my nut of a brother in the duck costume. That girl was heels over head for him.

I sigh. While all of this was definitely drama and comedy perfect for a sitcomm we are still nowhere close to figuring out who wants to annihilate me and why. That's when I see Crush heading towards me. My heart starts racing at a billion miles an hour and I start to feel my face go tomato red. Why is he coming over here? I thought as my heart wants to jump out of my chest cavity and run a marathon. What does he have to say? What can I keep from saying?!

When he finally makes his way over to me, Crush floats right in front of me and tries to prevent himself from flipping upside down. He smiles a captivating grin at me. "You'll be okay Lace," he assured me, taking a hold of my hand and squeezing it in reassurance. "I won't let anything happen to you."

I bite down on my tongue to keep from spilling out all my hopes and dreams of romance to him. Keep it together Lace, I told myself. You're strong! You can bite your tongue for a few de minimis hours. Just don't say-

"I love you."