Daddy's Little Girl

8

These few days have been rough for me, all I do is cry. I haven't been to school in a week because I'm scared to face everyone and to make matters work I'm pregnant and he doesn't know. I don't know what's going to happen when he does either so I don't know what to do. He's raped me only once since I got out the hospital and to make matters worse his child is in me while he raped me. I have a baby by my own father ! No one can sit here and say they know the pain because they don't, I'm actually hurting. I don't think my mother is ever coming back to make matters worse, when I call she declines.
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I woke up and felt a dip in my bed, he was watching me sleep. I don't know why but I know he was, and he looked at me for a while took a deep breath.
"You're going to school today."
I just nodded I didn't want to speak to him, he got up and left as quick as he could. It was the weirdest thing ever and that's an understatement. I laid there for a while that's the only thing I could do for a while  when I had this weird feeling just come to me. It felt like I had to throw up but nothing came, I showered quickly and got dressed. I walked to school to avoid "him", it was the only way otherwise I would've been stuck in car with him most likely staring. I don't know what's up with him but something is, he has never came into my room and just stared it's always sex involved and I made sure to keep this pregnancy a complete secret, it can not surface no matter what. I can't even start showing cause I'll be dead before I'm even able to tell anyone else, I don't even know how I can care for a child. Will I be like my mother? Just avoid her daughter at any cost and then deny the fact that she is getting raped. I cannot be like my mother I have to be better for myself, not just for my child. I've finally reached my school, the premises I was dreading with every inch in my body. Soon as I walked in everyone was staring , I can honestly say this is the most attention I have gotten this entire year and all I did was miss a couple days. No one ever even spoke to me besides my best friend and I was surprised not to hear from her this entire time honestly, but I have to focus on myself more than her.  I wonder has everyone figured out about me, maybe that's why they are looking at me the way they are. I walked down the hall more still being stared at and I finally figured it out, the reason I've been getting eyeballed. My "best friend" has betrayed me, she has went around the school spreading rumors about me and making it seem like I'm such a whore. She told everyone the reason I've been missing school and not contacting her is because I was off selling my body, this all started because I said she couldn't come over again and I rode away in my dad's  new car. That had to be the reason! I officially had no one, I was alone and the bitch I called my "best friend" wasn't even here for me to ask her about all this he-say-she-say mess. Now all I have is myself to handle all the stress including this... I was someone others said had no hope and now I know it's true.