Sacrifice || Steve Rogers

Two

Hayley Barnes.

I never really liked to attend funeral.

The black and white color that everyone wears seems so depressing.Not to mention the very thick atmosphere that you can feel the moment you enter the church.People will come by to look at the casket and then starts to tell their favorite memory of the passed one,dugged a deeper hole in my heart.

I looked at the flowers with large condolences messages and I scoffed a bit.

"What difference would all this flowers and messages make?Would they bring the dead back to life?Of course not,then why bother sending them?"

I hated funerals so much that I only went to 3 funerals.

The first time that I went to a funeral was my Dad's funeral.

I was five at that time and I really didn't know what's happening.I just remembered lots of people,wearing black and white,coming to talk to me and Bucky.I remembered Bucky talking beside the coffin and suddenly broke to tears,he went over me and held me tightly.

I didn't get too much hurt then but I'm quite certain that I don't really like this kind of events.

The second time that I went to a funeral was Bucky's.

This funeral hurts much more because I am now fully aware and I know damn well who is Bucky Barnes.We were like tied to the hip ever since we lost our parents,we were never separated before the war.He was always there to guide me and support me with everything,he was there to fulfill the duty of our passed parents.And then now he's gone,forever.

What hurts the most is that the funeral was an empty coffin.When Bucky fell from the train,his body was never recovered.No one could ever survived a hundred foot fall and if he did survive the fall,the cold weather must have frozed him to death.

I was hoping that his funeral will be the last for a long time but how wrong I was because here I am attending another funeral.

The funeral of Steven Grant Rogers or most known to the world Captain America.

The man----who became the first super soldier,who led the destruction of HYDRA,who picked me up when Bucky wasn't there,who stole my heart,who saved the world----is now dead.

This was so unfair,he wasn't supposed to die.

Heroes are supposed to live their happy ever after,villains were the ones who are suppose to perish.He saved the world,doesn't that make him a hero?Doesn't that let him deserve a happy ending?

There's a billion people in the world,why him?Why Steve?

Everything was suddenly so different in the world.Without my brother and Steve,nothing makes sense in life anymore?It's like life is not worth living anymore.

Why do I still need to continue to live if the people I cared about is dead?

"Hayley?Are you ready for your eulogy?"Peggy asked,snapping me back to reality.

"I think I am"I lied

Every time I tried to think were to start or what to talk about,I ended up writing nothing.There was too many stuffs that I wanna begin with,too many stuffs that cannot fit in a single paper.

"You know that you got me Hayley"Peggy reminded "Even now that the war is over,you can still count on me"

"Thank you Peggy"

"And now we will hear a eulogy from Steve Rogers' closest friend,Miss Hayley Barnes"the speaker in front announced as I stood up.

"Wish me luck Peggy"I whispered while walking to the podium.

Just like Bucky,Steve's funeral was also an empty coffin.For weeks and weeks,Howard Stark searched for the remains of Steve's body but he failed to bring back Steve.

Everyone presumed that Steve is dead and they thought that a funeral was only proper for the man who sacrificed his life for the whole America.

I took a deep breath before I glanced back at the empty coffin.

Maybe it was okay that it's an empty coffin because I can never visualize Steve in a coffin.It will only break me apart to see him lying there,lifeless.

"My name is Hayley Barnes and Steve Rogers is the love of my life"I started,

"Before he took the role Captain America the super soldier,he played different roles in Brooklyn."

"First,he played the role of a son to Mr and Mrs. Rogers.I need to say my thanks for the Rogers for raising up such a fine gentleman.He never forgot his manners no matter what he became.He was such a perfect son except for the fact that he's a bit small for his age."

"He also played the role of being a bestfriend to me and Bucky.He love us so much and he did everything he can to help us.He saved Bucky when he was locked in a HYDRA facility,he tried to save Bucky before he fell for the train.He was there when I needed him the most.He really proved to us that he's there till the end of the line."

A tear slipped through my eyes as I think about Steve and Bucky meeting in heaven and finally having peace.

"Another role he played is being a punch bag of the bullies.He would stand up and fight the bullies,and tell them his famous lines 'I could do this all day'.Then Bucky comes swooping down the scene and helping Steve out of the fight.Bucky will come back home with Steve and I will tend the wounds that Steve has.Bucky,Steve and I,we always got each other's back and now I don't know what to do without them by my side."

I could feel tears in my eyes but I brushed it off.

"What I admire most about Steve Rogers is his undying determination and his loyalty to righteousness.Every time he gets beaten up by the punks in Brooklyn,I'll ask him why he started a fight and he'll rant about how one went rude to an old lady,one went disrespectful to the soldiers and etc..He was really determined to serve the country that's why even he gets declined,he will still come back and register again.So when Doctor Erskine offered him a chance to be a super soldier,he seized the chance.Nothing changed in Steve except for the physical stuffs,every attitude and intentions he has remained to him.All he ever wanted to do was to do good things,set everything right and protect our country,all of those he achieved.I'm proud of you Steve.You played the soldier role pretty well,time to wake up though because there's another role waiting for you"

Now I was cracking,tears are flowing but I kept on a smile.

"T-there was one role that I wanted him to play.One role that he badly wanted to play and he said that he might play that role after the war."I choked on my next few words "T-the role of being my h-husband"

I closed my eyes and I sniffled a bit before continuing.

"Our love story is so tragic Steve,it started very well and then suddenly ended in the middle.It seems like fate is pulling a big joke on us.But don't worry Steve,I promise that we'll meet again.I don't know where or don't know when but we'll meet again.And maybe in that time,everything is going to be alright.I will be your wife and no war or HYDRA raging on.Maybe in that time we can fulfill the promises we promised,you still owe me a dance and a date under the stars.Maybe in another I won't lose you.Maybe in another life,you can finally play the role of being my husband"

I just needed this to stop,I just need someone to wake me up from my bad dream.

"You will always be in my heart Steve,always"