I've had some strange thoughts since it happened. These mainly occurred end of January to beginning of February. They went along the lines of:
What would happen if I crossed the road without looking?
What if I got hit by a car? Not so that it killed me, I wouldn't want that, but so that I got injured-feel the pain.
What if I went to run in front of car? Would someone stop?
What would it be like to walk on the tube tracks? I wouldn't want to be on them to get hit but maybe to feel an adrenaline rush?
What would someone do if I sat on the edge of the platform?
What would it feel like?
Would anyone care?
Would I move when the train came?
Would I zone out?
What would would it feel like to cut myself? Not scratch, graze or barely break the skin but properly slice it open?
What would it feel like to be strangled?
Some of these scared me - most in fact. They would leave me upset and confused. Why were they even there?
Your mind can be a very scary place sometimes.
YOU ARE READING
Confusion
General FictionThe journey of a girl trying to understand and find acceptance after a Night Out at Uni. Please note this book comes with a trigger warning- if you would like info as to why please feel free to PM me.
