Valerie's Guide to Fairy Tale Land

Prince Types

Valerie’s Guide to Prince Types

            So now that I’m done with princesses, at least the ones I’ve come across so far (I may add more later as I discover them), it’s time to start on the prince types. Now I’m sure you’re thinking, why prince types? And I’m doing it mostly because these royal couples come in sets mostly, where either one or the other is the cursed/magic/whatever one. They’re the ones you can have an idea of what they’ll be like.

             Polar Bear Prince: Serious, Rule-abiding, Clever, Patient. Iron face. That’s what the one I met made me think of. I didn’t see him smile once the entire time. I mean I’m sure they’re not all like that and this one was just particularly uptight. At least his princess seemed happy enough. I liked her too. She had some spirit even if she was occasionally silly.

             Frog Prince: Clever, Determined, Strong-Willed, Patient. Now under normal circumstances I’d feel bad for these fellows, and in some cases I do. Most of this lot end up with princesses who are flighty, shallow, and selfish. But Brendis is a frog prince and Asterria is one of those exceptions that proves the rule. Overall this is one of the better types of princes, though of course not all of them are nice, and I’m glad that Darren’s dad is one of them. If I’d had had a choice in the matter, a frog prince would have been in my top three choices for sure.

             Heartless Giant Killing Prince: Kind, Clever, Independent, Strong-Willed. This is a set I wish I could meet. The princess is generally fairly quick-witted which would be a relief, and the prince is kind and smart. Though some of them have that vicious streak, killing the giant even after they he does what they say. So you know, just try not to cross this type.

             King Thrushbeard(though his name changes sometimes): Clever, Strong-willed, Hard-working, Patient. I want to meet one so bad! I’d feel bad for this type if they didn’t school their princesses that way. They start off with princess that I would probably punch, and then basically put them through hell to teach them a damn lesson. I would like to watch. Hmm…maybe we can find one and get him interested in Izarra. I would pay to watch her learn to be a frigging human being.

             Pig King: Clever, Strong-Willed, Secretive, Strong. Homicidal maniacs. Seriously. Most of the time they marry and kill two sisters before marrying the third. Only sometimes, so the other sisters get to come back to life. This is another instance where I don’t understand why no one else has a problem with this. Least of all the girls’ mother. Seriously, there has to be wrong with a woman like that.

             Puss in Boots’s Boy: Open-minded, Dependent, Gentle, Loyal. I met one only briefly. He was very sweet. Like a puppy. His princess was at home so I can’t say much about her. Other than I hope she’s the one making the decisions or that he’s still listening to his cat. Because while he was sweet, soft-spoken, and very polite, I could see him being taken advantage of in moments. Seriously. One of my exes was like that and I had to push him into standing up for himself. Which is pretty counterproductive.

             Shortshanks: Strong, Clever, Sly, Strong-Willed. Definitely on my “do not cross” prince list. This type kills ogres. Plural. And they can and will get revenge on people who do cross them. And since they’re common born, they’re not hung up with the stupid noble rules. That and they can, have, and would probably again, steal from old ladies. I’m not kidding around when I say it’s best to stay on their good side.

             Valiant Tailor: Clever, Sly, Loyal, Hard-working. Another of the ones I want to meet. This type does not put up with shit from anyone, including their father-in-law. Mind you, this type had better have a decent army because they’re actually useless in a fight. But at least they do have a brain and a bloody silver-tongue. They could probably talk their way out of any situation.