Indigo

Time

The longer we sit here waiting,

Wandering,

Watching,

The slower it goes.

The more i realize things have to get better.

Part of this is a bunch of selfishness and regret hell perhaps even egotistical bullshit that swirls in a concave in my guts.

Then again part of me is extreamly hopeful but ashamed.

The road has many routes and not every destination takes you the exact same way.

Maybe thats what ive been needing to do:

Once you get rid of the road and prioritize its endless,

The hope,

The tears,

The opprotunities,

The inspiration becomes endless.

Why?

Because for once you remove yourself from all that crap,

You block out your own negativity and eventually your happy because you know its all in the past.

You know what your fighting for.

I guess you say that i never was spoiled...
Ever and now that im older i understand what its like to have no choices,

No options,

But i dont ride the sun.

I wont follow your horizon.

I have no reason to.

Since i have this gift I'll do with what i will and know,

There are a few select people who care and they have a mind to tell you that your loved and cared for.

Maybe thats what has always been missing.

I have been used to hearing it not from you,

But my brother.

I have been used to him telling me he loved me and that i might be stupid but im his sister,

How we would wrestle in the backyard and play with our dogs.

But now its not there anymore.

I had always promised myself that if i ever gave way to this crap im taking the shot and im going my own way.

Of coarse i have responsibilities but i have the awesome ability to pick up and leave and start the process of beginning all over again because its what i know.

I have always had the nomadic lifestyle and as i got older i just forgot what that was like...

So time, she takes away the crap that was important and sometimes you tend to forget who you are,

Where you come from,

That we have a choice.

You can choose to keep rolling with the tide or you can fight against that sea and go your own way.

Time isnt essential but its existance is.

Without time we arent here,

Without time we are just thoughts lost in a vacant space.

Still waiting,

Watching,

Wandering aimlessly until the tide takes us back again.