Walking Away

1. Growing up

        When I was little I used to think that the worse thing that could happen to me would be getting stung by a bee, or falling off the monkey bars. I believed that I would live a perfect life; in other words I thought my parents would always have a happy marriage, I thought I would remain friends with everyone from second grade, I thought life would be just like movies. Boy was I wrong!!!

        My name is Alina. I just turned 17, I'm a junior in highschool. I go to Shoreside high school in Malibu. My school is okay I guess.. I am a very smart student, and I'm not at all a nobody. I'm a pretty girl with a very bright future. I've been in a relationship with Shawn since I was 14; three years is a long time to love someone. My mom and dad were together for 15 years before they decided they no longer loved each other. It was easier to let go than deal with it any longer. So they divorced

       Shawn was my first for everything.. My first kiss, my first real boyfriend, first boy I had sex with, he was my first love... But lately... I haven't been feeling the same kind of love.
      
     When me and Shawn first got together it was so great. "Shawn and Lina, the power couple" people would say when they seen us two together. "Good Morning Beautiful" were the text I use to get. "I love you more" were the only arguments we had. "I'll be over after school" was an everyday phrase before I left his locker. But as time caught up with us.. Our fairytale turned into one of my biggest struggles. The power couple turned into "you'd be happier without him." And good morning beautiful turned into "morning babe."I love you more arguments turned into veroucious violent fights. And I'll be over after school turned into "see ya later." It's true.. Me and Shawn were no longer in love in the same way that We used to be. But I was still fighting to hold on to us..

     "Im so tired of having this conversation with you Lina!" Shawn was yelling.. We were in the middle of an argument, which started as a question.

         Shawn and me used to spend time together everyday, but lately he never has time for me. So of course, I suspect the worse.. Cheating.

       "If your not cheating than why can't We discus this without fighting," I yelled.

      "Because it's every fucking day Alina," he yelled. "Every single day you have to assume something!!"

    "Well maybe if everyday we wasn't busy I wouldn't have a reason to assume!"

     "Im done with this conversation," said Shawn. "If your smart, you'll be done with it too."

     The room fell silent. I sat on my bed and tried my hardest to fight tears. I knew Shawn was cheating on me, I even had the proof.. But I really did love the kid.

     Shawn noticed me crying so he moved to the top of the bed and wrapped his arms around me. He held me so tightly and kissed my forehead. "You have nothing to be crying for lina," he said. "I'm only yours." He said the words in a way that made me want to believe him.. But deep down I knew it was a lie.

      Times like this made me wish I never had to grow I up.. I wish I never had to face the unfair truth of the world. After Shawn left that night I prayed. I asked God to help me.. For I knew if I didn't leave Shawn alone now.  That sooner than later I would regret it. Before I went to sleep the night I sent Shawn a text:
 
       I love you & I will always have love for you. But things are not the same anymore.. I think it's better if we go our own ways... I know that you have done stuff with other girls. And it's not fair that I sit here and beat myself up.. I hope everything is in your favor though. Goodnight.

      With that text I blocked Shawn's number (because I know he'll convince me to stay if I dont) and I went to sleep.

      My sleep was very peaceful that night knowing I don't have to worry about someone cheating on me.. This will be great .. Or so I thought