Rolly Polly

Chapter 6

Now {Harper}

We are at London's party and my heart is beating in time to the music. In my hand is a strawberry lemonade, my favorite drink. Aubrey and London had just walked off to grab some food and I am left to fend for myself.

I look around the room and smile at some of the people from my class. Then I see Connor. I want so badly to just turn and pretend to be busy. Maybe even melt into the crowd, but I can't. I have to face him eventually, and besides. He is staring right at me as he approaches.
I guess I will just stand here and listen to what he has to say. He stops in front of me and right away I can see that he is upset.
"Harper. I've been meaning to talk to you." His eyes are rimmed with red. Tears threatening to fall. I want to reach up and wipe them away, or even just give him a hug until the tears are gone. But he wouldn't want that.

"Well?" I ask him. Honestly, I have just reached this point where I can no longer care. Caring hurts too much and I don't think I can handle it. If I act like I don't care, then it will be easier on him and myself. He takes a deep breath and starts to talk.

"I think we need a break from each other."

That's it? I could have told him that.

"I agree."

He looks taken back by my words. His eyebrows scrunch together and he searches my eyes. I simply raise my eyebrow. People are walking all around us, some stare but keep moving. Some stand in a crowd and act like they aren't watching. Others simply don't care and make their way to the other side of the lawn. I see Aubrey and London talking to some guy, trying not to look over here, giving us privacy. I look everywhere but at Connor. My eye level is roughly his shoulder so I can't really see over it. I do however see when he takes a step back. That makes me look to his eyes.

He shakes his head. Still confused as to why I am acting this way. I can see he wants to ask me why, but he is torn. Eventually that part of him wins out and he asks the question.

"What happened?"

What happened? This is what he asks? Does he really truly not know why I'm so hurt and acting this way? How could he possibly be this stupid?

"What happened?" I ask him. I can feel myself starting to get angry, but I don't want that. I want to remain calm and collected until I have left this party or at least am in the privacy of some room. Maybe even my car.

"What happened is you not seeing how this has been a problem for months."

"What are you talking about Harper?"

I don't care how irrational I am being at the moment, I'm so tired and can't deal with this right now. So I do what I do in these situations. I shut down.

"Nothing Connor. Forget I said anything. Friends?" He smiles at me and draws me in for a hug.

"Friends."

I take a step back and we nod at each other. "Welp." I look at his eyes. It feels slightly awkward. "See you around I guess."

"Yeah." He gives me another hug and then we part ways.

I start to walk away but turn around to watch him leave. A part of me feels free and relieved while another part of me feels heavy with the words I never said. I was finally given the opportunity to speak my mind and let all of my emotions out. Oh well.

I make my way over to my friends. They look at me, sympathy in their eyes and I know they saw the whole thing happen.