Decision Time

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She had watched her mother do it for nearly 20 years, so why was Victoria Garrison-Ammon struggling with this decision?

The only difference was that her mother had an affair on her father, and when he left finally she was strong, independent, and barely affected by her husband's absence. Victoria found herself standing at the crossroads of life with two options: stay or hit the road. After 16 years of marriage, her life had become nothing short of everything she despised. She was filled with disappointment and regret.

"How did I let it get to this?" She sighed, while she picked up her duffle bag and walked toward the door. Stopping short, she placed a handwritten note on the side table, along with a key, and her wedding set then shifted the strap on her shoulder and walked out the door.

She took a moment to look back at the two-story house, taking notice of the once bright yellow paint that had faded to the color of watered down lemonade. The once brilliant white shutters took on a dull shade of taupe. Paint was peeling from the eves and moss was growing along the roofline. Everything had been neglected over the past six years; everything.

Casually, and with confidence, she lifted the bag into the trunk of her car. All of her other possessions were waiting in her new apartment across town. She put the key into the ignition and, without looking back said goodbye to the life she chose so many years ago. This was her time to start over and get what she felt she deserved, without reservation or regret.

Carter had been out of town the past three days sorting out a merger. His dark chestnut brown eyes were heavy and burned as he turned onto the lane leading home. As he approached the house he noticed Tory's car was gone and the house looked eerily empty. Obviously, she had made her decision. He wasn't surprised. They had been discussing their domestic arrangement and changes in their relationship for months trying to discover those feelings of passion that once filled every room of the old farm house. The attorney had drawn up the paperwork six weeks earlier and he had signed them the day they arrived in the mail. Tory was weighing her options and he knew this decision was more difficult for her than it was for him.

She decided to return to school eight years ago to work toward a Master's Degree in writing. After the second year, Carter began putting up protective walls, knowing that the end of their relationship was looming. What would a talented, beautiful, educated woman like Victoria want with him after she realized the world was her oyster? He started withdrawing from her almost immediately, and once she realized what was going on, it was too late.

Unlocking the front door, he paused to throw his keys on the side table and noticed the items she had left for him. He grabbed the key and then noticed her wedding rings.

"Awe Tory," he sighed, "I told you to keep these." He figured she would sell them and take the money to start her new life—her new life without him. He grabbed the letter from the table and walked toward the kitchen.

Carter,

I couldn't wait any longer for you to arrive, that and I really didn't want to drag this out any more than it has been. The past few weeks have weighed heavily on my mind. We just aren't what I want us to be anymore. Thank you for your honesty about Erin.

I wish you only the best,
Tory

PS: I sent the signed papers back to the attorney today. He said the marriage would be dissolved by Friday of next week.

Sixteen years had ended with a letter. He tossed it on the kitchen island and took his cell phone out of his front pocket. He pressed two, then, waited for her to pick up.

Victoria turned into the apartment complex and pulled into space 15. With a quiet smile, she turned off the ignition and popped the trunk. The apartment was a studio, about 1,500 square feet with a modern kitchen and beautiful view of the Pacific Ocean. She had agreed to pay an addition $50.00 a month to have a balcony, and as she slid the French doors open, she stretched her arms and inhaled a long healing breath. She stood with her eyes closed feeling the salty air tickle the goose bumps on her arms. She was just beginning to drift off into another world when her cell phone started buzzing in the kitchen. Leaving the doors open she turned and made it quickly to the counter. Reaching her phone she checked to see who was calling.

"Hey Carter, did you just get back?" Her tone was friendly and warm as though she were speaking to a friend.

As soon as he heard her voice, Carter could tell she was smiling and not feeling any negative emotions from her decision. How was it that he had forgotten how simply forgiving and caring she was? He still loved her, still needed her, but he wanted her to love and need him as well.

"Hi Tory, yeah, I just got here a little bit ago. I found your note. Thanks for sending the papers back. I thought though, we agreed that you were going to keep the rings?" His voice wasn't accusatory but his tone seemed clipped, almost as if he were annoyed that she had left them there. Not that she had to keep them, but they talked about it and it stung to see them sitting on the table.

They were Tory's, and when he purchased the set he was sure they would be together forever. He had spent days going from shop to shop trying to find the perfect engagement ring to present to her. He finally decided on a quarter-carat princess cut diamond solitaire surrounded entirely by 13 deep, ocean blue, Montana Sapphires. The wedding band was plain but complemented the diamond and sapphires perfectly. He chose white gold and waited 12 weeks before picking up the finished product. To see them sitting on the table nearly made his knees buckle from shame.

"I know, but what am I supposed to do with them? Maybe Erin can use them for something." As soon as she said the words she regretted it and wished she could take them back. But it was too late and the next thing she heard was a click. The line went dead.

Her reply set his blood on fire. Give them to Erin! What the hell would Erin do with them and what would possess her to say something so hurtful. He couldn't speak as a lump of guilt made its way to his throat. He pressed "end" on the phone and threw the rings against the marble countertop. He slid his back down the cold stainless steel refrigerator and ran his fingers through his hair. How was he going to keep up this façade? Eventually, Tory would figure it out.

"Oh Carter, you made your bed! Don't make me feel guilty for calling you out on it," she hissed as she hung up the phone. One minute he could be the Carter that she married. The kind hearted, selfless person that had always put her needs first. The next minute he was a selfish jerk and she wondered why she ever felt any love toward him at all. Especially now, the cheating had been the clincher. They hadn't been intimate for more than seven months, and Tory now knew the reason.

She went to the kitchen to find a radio station, but instead chose her phone and selected her "Party Anthems" playlist. As soon as the music started she began singing along while unpacking. For the moment, she was carefree, nearly single, and had a bright future ahead of her. Graduation was only two days away and she had yet to prepare the speech she had been asked to give.

The past six years had been challenging both mentally and emotionally. She planned to get her Master's Degree in writing, and publish a book about the struggles of mixed families. Tory came from a dysfunctional home and married a man that refused to have any contact with his parents. There was a fine line between spouse and friend and it took Tory years to develop a relationship with his parents. Once she had, she found that the relationships were unfulfilling. She decided quickly not to spend any more time or energy attempting to fix the permanent strain.

His parents were manipulative and invasive. Always hanging on gossip and trivial things that Tory and Carter would not even consider stressors. After spending a weekend at their house, his mother had pulled Tory aside and told her that she and Carter needed marital counseling. Ha! That was nearly two years before Tory started attending school.

Perhaps they did know their son better than she had. She wondered if Carter was seeing another woman then and had perhaps confided in his Mother. It mattered little now. Both of his parents died in a car accident four years ago. His Father had been drinking and ran through a guardrail, sending the car flying down a ravine. His Father died on impact. His Mother, Leila, was sent by helicopter to the hospital, but died shortly thereafter. Neither she nor Carter attended their wakes.



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