What If...(H.S.)

FORTY FIVE :'(

{Edited: 18/09/16}

Zania's POV

Trying to sleep in a sleepless night is the worst thing. Because whenever you close your eyes all the bad memories gather in front of you. And that day I had only one thing in my mind. How could Harry even think that? I know he was drunk. But he had this feeling for a long time for sure. How could he even think that I'd love anyone else then him? That clears that he never trusted me. NEVER.

After we came back from the roof and entered my room I just couldn't control myself. I cried in Liam's arms. I asked snivelling in his shoulder "Do you also think I'm traitorous?"
"What? No! Why are you even saying this?"
"H-Harry thinks... He thinks there's s-something between you and me."
"What the fück! I'm sorry, but how can he even think that! Is he out of his mind? I'll be back" he stood up from his place.
I held his hand and said " where you going?"
"To smack that idiot's head"
"No. He's drunk now. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Just go and check on him if he's alright or not"
"Zan seriously? He deserves at least one slap!"
I gave a weak smile and said "He deserves someone better than me. I failed to make him believe in my love. I don't belong here."
"Don't say that love" saying this Liam pulled me in a tight hug.

Since Liam left the room all I did was turning the table lamp on and off. Whenever I turn the light off the dark room reminds me of my dark heart and whenever I turn the light on the reflection of myself on mirror setting just in front of the bed made me feel guilty and worthless of myself.

A person is most trustful when he's drunk. Cause then he speaks from his heart and not from his head. That means every single word Harry said at roof was what he really believed from his heart. If he could think like this about me with his own best friend then how am I supposed to believe that he would not feel the same way afterwards? I was going crazy over these feelings.

~Three days later ~

It had been three days since the incident and the most amazing part is Harry didn't even try to talk with me. He didn't even meet his gaze with me for once. He avoided and ignored me. I had enough of this and decided I'd come back to Bangladesh after that day's concert. I told all the boys, obviously except for Harry. I had no wish to waste my time by trying to talk with him. They tried to convince me not to leave but after hearing my clarification they were speechless.

"You know I really do love you as a friend. You're very sweet. I don't even know how could Harry do this to you. But now I totally support you with your decision. You have your full right to enjoy your life. Don't waste it for this douche" Niall said after hearing my statement.

Everything was set. Few more hours and I'd be vanished from Harry's life. He was sitting in front of me with the other boys. Continuously avoiding my gaze and ignoring my statements.
"Liam you can't wear the jacket. Believe me it's really gaudy."
"Ugh! As you say!" Liam said
"Niall your guitar would be ready just before little things and Louis you stay exactly where you are cause you're per-fect"
"Oi oi" Louis responded and we all burst out in laughter.

Just when I uttered the name Harry, he stood up and left the room. I didn't expected that but it didn't even effected me cause my heart was already broken into million pieces you can't break it again. I kept the smile on my face so that the boys wouldn't be upset. But they knew I was sad and they stood surrounding me. I gave them a confused look and they replied it with a group hug. All of them hugged me very tightly and little tear drop escaped from my eyes as the feeling of leaving them shook my heart.