Letters to Luke (discontinued)

1. the start..

me: someday lol *insert photo from above*

me: im so sad

me: this is rediculous

me: you'll never check this notification, you'll probably never notice me

me: but i ran out of people to talk to so why not some crazy famous man who doesn't give 2 shits about my nightly sadness

me: if one day we happen to cross paths, i hope you'll ask for my name... you probably won't care

me: but if that day came, i'd say olivia of course you would probably just rush through my words and ask if i want a photo reminding me that you have a life and places to be, completely crushing my plan for having a 2 min conversation.

me: we'd take a photo i wouldn't have cared for, you would walk away talking to a friends or holding her hand.

me: i'd go home sad that things didn't go as planned, but happy bc you finally have someone to make you happy

me: i want that. not like to be with you, but to be happy. you make me happy, but a want someone who is there for me all the time.

me: someone who knows im not just a face in the crowd, or another ding from twitter.

me: someone who thinks i mean something to them

me: i have a girlfriend

me: who i met through your band, which i thank you for, but sometimes i don't feel good enough for her.

me: im not saying she doesn't make me happy, so don't me wrong with that bc she makes me so happy, it's just i feel like she deserves someone better idk

me: also my friends at school never act like my presence is wanted

me: i have two friends, one i see in one class period who i met last year and who trusts me with the fact that she.... well i'd never tell you because i promised not to tell anyone so... anyway the other i walk home with who is so cool and chill, but sometimes i don't feel like she even wants to be my friend sometimes 😂😂

me: the only internet friend who has stayed is megan

me: we used to like each other then stopped bc she thought long distance was horrible (she isn't wrong bc long distance sucks) and for about 8 months now we have been really good friends

me: god this is dumb

me: im messaging luke fucking hemmings

me: this is what it has come to

me: but yeah you will never answer

me: so why not say i love you

me: i do

me: not in like the creepy fangirl way

me: but the way that i care about you a lot and i want you to live a long happy life, even if i may never be in it at all. i still love you no matter what. you will always be my everything.

me: i wish you the absolute best luke

me: just remember, the shit people say means completely nothing to what your heart says... so stay happy luke. i love you the most ❤

me: also i might talk to you a lot so..

me: hey maybe i'll find this dm one day and make a book out of it

me: i'd call it "letter to luke"

me: letters*

me: i cant write so nvm about that idea

((THE IRONY FUCK))

me: haha anyway

me: im happy you're alive and human and real, maybe one day i can meet the love of my life, and dream about it for the rest of my life

me: goodnight luke

me: that feels so nice to say...

*an hour later*

me: still awake

me: needing your presence but im trash so

me: night love 💕

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so, this is the shit i talk to luke about, there's more, but i'll update later. im changing the names just so it comes out a little less like "READ ABOUT MY WHOLE LIFE" okay lol bye

p.s. im keeping my name in this, so rip me (MAYBE THIS SHOULD BE A FANFIC??? IDK) (((also these are ALL REAL messages, but once i turn this into a fanfic, they will just be made up convos with some real ones thrown in of just me talking, idk yet k byeee)))