A Nightmare Into A Reality

Chapter 18

I couldn't sleep.
Only thing I could think of is all that had happen. Ashlyn running me over and kissing Colby. Colby's accident and meeting my dead daughter. I don't know what got over me. I woke up in the middle of the night in tears. I woke Colby up with my sobbing. I kept complaining about how I never get to be happy and when I am something brings me down.

I felt like I was trapped inside of a wall. For some reason everything made me mad or upset. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even bond with Colby and melody with arguing about something.

"Colby what's wrong with me?!?"
I cried out to him.
"There is nothing wrong with you. Ok your just going through a hard time."

Not even his comfort could make me feel better right now.

I couldn't take it anymore! Why do I have to deal with this? Why me of all people? Don't I deserve to be happy more than just a day?

I meant out of my mind. In the middle of the night while Colby was asleep i kissed his forehead and goodbye. I thought it was time. I thought it was the right thing to do even though it wasn't.

I went into the bathroom and trying to find my pills. I ended up knocking them over and waking Colby up.

After I picked up a bottle off the ground I tried to open it but it wouldn't budge.
I was screaming and yelling at the top of my lungs. I'm suprised melody didn't wake up.

"Audrey what are you doing?!" Colby yelled seeing me on the floor.
"I can't get the fucking bottle open. Why won't it open?!!" I screamed.
He knocked out of my hand.
"NO! Why the fuck did you to that? I don't want to be here anymore! I want to go away! I fucking hate my life and I can't do it anymore!"

He grabbed me and started to hold me close but I got away from his grasp.
I ran out the door and tears not paying attention of anything. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know I was in the middle of the road till I saw a car light.

There was a blur. I thought my life was over. I thought I was dead but Colby pulled me on the sidewalk before anything happen.

I was crying, screaming and hitting him so hard he probably had bruises.
"Audrey stop it! Do you not know what you would be leaving behind? A family. Your friends. Me! I love you and I can't lose you!"

"How can you love me!! I whine and complain about everything. I can't do anything right!"
"Cause I know you. You'll get through anything. I'm not going to let you go through it alone."
I was crying hysterically into his chest.
"Do me a favor and please don't leave me. Just please cause I don't think I can make it without you. I need you in my life. I need you to love me and to hold me. Even when I can't love myself."

"I promise to love you and to hold you forever. You are my wife and I'm never letting you go. Ok Audrey Elaine? Your stuck with me"

He picked me up off of the streets and into bed. I laid with my bad facing him and is arms secure around me. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. I guess that's all I needed was to tell someone how I really felt. I honestly don't know what I would do without Colby.

When I lose myself I know he's there to find me.