just a heads up, i'm not going to be on much. theres kinda a lot of things going on ooa right now that I feel should be taken care of first. so this is kind of my inactive message I guess + an explanation why I continue going in and out of my activeness.
reasons would include the fact that I realize that I continuously hurt people on here that I honestly love and miss, and I do not mean romantically. as of now, both ooa and ooc I do not love anyone in the sense I would wish for romantic affairs. I wish to clear that up as it seems people took my introductory paragraph for this book as something completely different than what it is. when I say I that a girl that I loved moved on and it has turned me into an asshole, I meant that in a sense of I have finally realized that she was better off without me in the first place. I did romantically love her, and possibly could again in the future if it was in her and i's interest, but I accept and understand that our relationship as friends is strictly platonic. I guess what I meant by that little excerpt there was that I was rubbed the wrong way by how perfectly happy she was when I continuously came in and out of her life during our platonic relationship. this does not mean I am jealous or wish to see her with anyone that did not make her anything but feel like the best she could be.
the second reason is simply I am not dependent on this site like I was two years ago. I am not allowing myself to stoop down to that again, ever.
reason three is very simply that I have been having problems ooc with relationships/gender identity/sexuality/friendships. for those that care to know I am completely and 100% fine right now as i'm typing this, I am currently 10 days clean and have had a nice meal and long talk with my family and an old friend of mine. but over the past few weeks I had resorted to hurting myself in regards to stuff happening outside of the screen. I also recently have been very toxic to those I have known online, and therefore I have tried to distance myself from others as best as I could.
reason four, my past on here is not a thing I am proud of. I have cheated, lied, and said horrible things to people I care for so deeply just so my flighty, anxious self would not have to worry about losing people I loved because I already pushed them away. If you know the persons I am talking about, or you are the person I am talking about, I have broken many strings with the person I used to hurt you. I am not allowing myself to be with people that were toxic to me or others I am concerned with.
so as of right now, it is 10:12 pm on a Saturday, and I am sitting her typing up a letter to you all about why I could possibly be classified as inactive. if you truly wish to continue contact with me, I urge you to follow me on instagram ( anklebiiters) add me on kik ( NothingxPersonalx ) add me on snapchat ( blckmvss ) or pm me for other contact information. if not, expect very very late replies.
ta,
Hannah xo
