The Bishounen Checklist

Chapter 5: The Melancholy of Mister Torpe

Miki could hardly believe that there was such a guy. He clearly defeated him in several aspects and fit exactly into Marikit’s Bishounen Checklist. He was Japanese – the kind that Marikit likes, and he was drop dead gorgeous according to her standards. He graduated from Harvard Law School, so he is obviously very intelligent and educated. He wears nothing but Dolce and Gabbana, Banana Bepublic, Armani and sometimes, Guess and always looks like he’s a celebrity. He is charming, with a hint of mysteriousness and if personality was currency, then he was very rich. He claimed and conquered at least six of the twenty five characteristics that he aimed to disprove. Goddamn Jiro for being so perfect.

He lay back and stared up the ceiling of his room, defeated. On his desk lay open his lesson plan for the week, but he was in no mood to think about Philosophy or any sort of torture for his students for the week. All that was in his mind was how to prove that Mister Perfect was actually a flawed human being and was not right for her so that he could help her broken heart heal and claim her in the process.  It seemed so easy, but in truth, it was not.

How many times did he try to tell her? How many times did he fail? How many times did he chicken out of it and how many times did he bang his head on the wall after? Far too many to count, he thought.

His mind travelled back to college, when he had a chance. Back to when they were still classmates, and everything started. He could remember the first time clearly in his mind just like it was just yesterday that it happened. He could still feel the same pain, and feeling of deep regret.

For their final project in World Literature, they were required to do a cultural piece about the country and the story that they reported about. He and Marikit decided that they would do a shadow puppet show of the Tales of Genji using origami for the puppets and some of the props. They stayed out late one afternoon finishing a line of paper cranes and the shadow box they would use for the show. He was watching her expertly fold those paper cranes as he finished his own work.

“Did you know that if you finish a thousand of these paper cranes and give them to the person you care about, you get a wish?” She said as she started a new crane.

“Oh?” He had asked casually. He was only thinking about his planned speech after, and his intention to tell her what he really felt about her. He had planned this for weeks, even practicing his speech in front of his mirror daily to make sure that he would not look like a complete idiot while giving it. He wanted it to look as natural as possible, but polished. He thought he was ready today, but the butterflies in his stomach disagreed.

“Yup,” Marikit flashed him a smile. One that made the butterflies wage war against the walls of his stomach. “If you had finished one thousand paper cranes, who would you give it to? What would you wish for?”

Miki was stunned. He couldn’t answer for a moment because he knew that his answer would be simple. If he was confident and he had the courage, it would have been so easy to say it.  “You, and what I would wish for would be for me to be given a chance to love you the way you should be loved.” But he didn’t and instead changed the topic to the lucrative and very interesting topic of the weather. His speech had flown away with his thousand paper cranes as he talked about how it looked like it was going to rain that night and that they should hurry on with their work.

Miki smothered his face with a pillow in an attempt to erase the hideous and embarrassing memory from his mind. When he was sure that he couldn’t and his body was lacking oxygen, he let go and just stared absently into the darkness.

His life was a sad existence. He was what everyone would call torpe. A guy who is too shy to approach, or tell the girl he desires about his feelings. He is the person who is found folding at each opportune moment and failing to tell the desired lady his true feelings causing him regret and depression each and every single time. In short, he was romantically inept and a sad excuse for a man.