My Thoughts In High School

This one's for you

I loved you for a moment,

An hour,

A year.

But every time you looked at me,

I would disappear.

I realise now,

I wasn't the reason for your game.

If it wasn't for her,

You would have stayed the same.

But, I miss your past,

Your true kindness,

Playfulness,

And humility.

But I realized,

That's all gone,

Mainly because of me?

I have said it a million times,

But you must haven't heard it once,

I'm sorry,

I'm sorry,

I'm sorry.

I try to make people the same,

To make everything perfect,

I want everyone to feel my pain.

But when they think it is just right,

I notice,

They don't seek righteousness,

But spite.

So I'm sorry that I contradict,

But, understand this at least,

Learn from my mistakes,

not my example.

Then you may see,

My grasp won't be released.

But for those that want to get rid of me,

It's easier than it may seem.

All you have to do is learn from my bad example,

Then hate me for being me.

Leave me alone for a moment,

An hour,

A year.

Slowly I'll disappear.

From your sight,

And all other's.

It's as easy as that,

To get rid of me

But there's consequences,

I'll go insane, you see.

When I go insane,

You might still blame me.

But eventually you'll be rambling on,

Just like me,

About the girl who took out thousands,

In just one blow.

And then maybe,

Maybe you'll know.

I loved you for a moment,

An hour,

A year.

And every time you looked at me,

I would disappear.

I wanted to be the reason for your game.

I would've changed for you,

While she would just stay the same.

That's why you love her,

More than you'll ever love me.

I can thank her,

For all my past envy.

But that was my mistake,

For falling in love with a quickly fading star.

You would never assume,

That I truly don't have a smile,

I have a scar.

I can truly say now,

I still love you,

But my envy is now with her,

As a new emotion.

I want to give her courage,

Because I've seen how she can change you for the better.

I love a boy that's in the past,

And possibly the future.

I have a life of sorrows,

This is true.

But I seem to be the only one that notices,

Because I'm the only one who seeks.

Please don't hide your lies,

I will find most everything.

So, I still love you,

But in a different way.

This time,

You must find me.

I disappeared,

I went insane.

I hate you,

For making me love you.

I miss you,

Why can't you change for me?

I guess I have a better chance,

With someone else.

Maybe this time,

I won't keep it to my self.

Run after the other girl,

Don't run for what you can't see.

It's already gone,

I'll never be loved,

Until someone misses me.