I'll be there

Fear

Broken. That's what I am. But how do you define broken? Most people would relate it to love, but that's not my case. I am Jack Bert. 16, living somewhere. I don't have a permanent home, maybe because I don't have a real family. I was born without knowing the identity of my real parents so I was raised in an orphanage. All my life I was waiting for someone to want me, to have a family, and when I finally got one, my life became a mess. I was on the verge of dying when suddenly, I met her.

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"Hey kid!"

I woke up to the sound of car engines, horns blowing, the pain on my cheek and to the voice of someone yelling into my ears. 

"Hey kid! wake up! don't die on me!"

I slowly opened my eyes and caught a glimpse of a girl holding me in her arms. I was able to distinguish her big blue eyes. She looked distressed when suddenly... *SLAP* 

"Hey kid! wake up I'm telling ya!" she yelled.  I held out a small "ouch" and slowly placed my palm on my cheek. "Why'd you do that?" I asked. Finally, I regained my full consciousness.  "And I'm no kid!" I added. "Finally, you're awake. You suddenly collapsed in the middle of the road and there's no pedestrian lane you idiot. Good thing I ran into you when you collapsed. You tryin' to kill yourself or somethin'?" She blurted. Before I could answer her, the cops came and asked me to go with them. Well, that was no surprise. I crossed a road that's not supposed to be crossed after all.

"Good luck kiddo..." was the last thing she said when I went on with the police. Nice... A good way to start your day. Probably...

"Why did you cross the road?" "Didn't you see there was no pedestrian lane?" "That was a highway are you crazy?" "Were you trying to kill yourself?" series of interrogation. Boring... But in the end I got my butt out of that place, by paying the penalty of course. Costly, but what choice do I have? Then, I went HOME... 

Slowly, I opened the door to my house so as not to make a noise. "Where did you go?" Mrs. Bert asked. She was sitting in the sofa, knitting. I didn't know she was there. "Oh, somewhere. Visiting a friend.." I lied.

"You have bruises. What's wrong?" she turned her eyes on me.

"Oh, these.. they're nothing ma'am.." I lied again...

"Oh, I see. It's awfully late, did you have dinner already?"

"Oh, yes I'm fine. I already did." And for the third time, I lied again.

"Well, you seem to be doing fine. Go back to your room..."

"Yes, Ma'am.." I behaved. I went into my "room" and took a rest. Mrs. Bert was my adoptive parent. She was a nice Lady not until her husband died in an accident. From then on, she became silent and cold towards others. Even to me. I couldn't blame her though, after all, Mr. Bert meant the world to her.

After getting lost with my thoughts for a moment, I decided to sleep. Just when I was about to drown myself to sleep, there was a knock on the door. "Yes?" I answered. "It's me, Mrs. Bert." 

I hurried towards the door and opened it. "Yes, ma'm come inside..." I assisted her but she refused. "Don't worry Jack. It's fine..." "Oh.. okay.. " Mrs. Bert sat on my bed and I took the chair and sat myself. There was an awkward silence. Why was she here? After such an awkward silence, I decided to break it. But before I could speak, she interrupted me.

"Jack, I need to talk to you..." She said "Of course ma'am go ahead.."

Actually, I was starting to get pale. My heart was beating fast, what could it be? again, there was an awkward silence which made even more nervous and I can feel mself getting cold.

"Ma'am?"

"Jack, I'm returning you to the orphanage..-" 

It was like a knife stabbed my heart, I couldn't understand what I felt when Mrs. Bert told me those words. I couldn't speak, I was in loss for words. Without knowing, my tears suddenly fell.

"Jack, I know it's hard for you-" 

"Ma'am, why? Why would you return me? Aren't we a family?" I sobbed

"Jack, Flynn is no longer here, we are no longer a family.." She replied "Jack, please... do understand. It's hard even for myself."

"No, ma'm, please don't... I don't want to be alone ever again!" I knelt in front of her... I couldn't accept it. Just when I was finally able to grasp that dream, that dream of having a real family... I can't just let that dream go away.

"Jack, stop this. You are leaving tomorrow..." She stood up but I stoppedand embraced her "Ma'am, please..." I begged...

"Jack...stop this nonsense"   "Mother, please!" I looked into her eyes but she looked away... It's been a long time since I called her mother. She forbade me of calling her that ever since Mr. Bert died.

"Why? why would you return me?"

"I already told you, we are no longer a family ever since Flynn died.."

"Was it because I am to blame of Mr. Bert's death?" Mrs. Bert remained silent. "Was it? It was, right? You hate me because I was the reason, right? RIGHT??" after such persistence, Mrs. Bert said the most painful words I never wanted to hear from her.

"Yes! That's the reason. Because of you, Flynn died! You are to blame. And I have despised you ever since. Tomorrow, you will leave." Mrs. Bert added. I couldn't take those words. My knees trembled and I ran out of the room, out of the house and then ran somewhere. I want to shout as loud as I can, I want to run away to a place where nobody would see me...I just want to disappear... I just don't want to be alone anymore. Not anymore.

I happen to stop by a park. I was so tired of running and decided to sit on a swing. I sat for what seemed like hours. It was already late at night, but I don't want to go home. But for a moment I realized. I don't have a home, I have no one to go home to, I have no family, and I don't have a reason to live anymore. If I go back to the orphanage, it only means I'm going to be alone again and I don't want that. I sat for like hours and when I got fed up with the place, I stood up, and then went somewhere. Wherever I go, no one would care, wherever I will be, it's no one' s business. The night was silent, the moon shone bright, and the stars were perfect. It was a a peaceful night for everyone, but not for me. It was a night of melancholy, my heart was filled with burden.

I walked a rough and dusty pathway. It was dark and I couldn't see anything although I realized I was in some kind of a forest. Because it was so dim, I tripped and fell. Good thing I wasn't injured. I want to go back, but then again, it's impossible to get my way back since it's awfully dark, and worse, I'm lost. Since it's useless turning back now, I didn't bother going back. Where am I to return to, anyway? The orphanage? No. Definitely not. I followed a path that was leading somewhere. I've never been into this place before so I would never tell what lies ahead. But maybe I could get some help on my way back. 

The path lead me into an abandoned house. It looked like a fifty year old house. It was made of wood and the design was really old. Beside it was a big Thorntree with a swing hanging on it. It was nice, but at the same time, creepy. I was so tired from the long walk and run so I decided to take a rest but not on that creepy house. I sat on the swing and slowly, I closed my eyes and went to sleep, wishing I would never wake up again.