Phil's POV
Chris walks in without knocking and comes inside my room.
"Is everything alright?" I ignore him and tears flood down my face.
Then I look at him. He comes to comfort me but I don't say anything still, I don't know how to tell him how I feel. Dan will never love you. I hear a voice in my head saying.
"Dan..he's - with PJ." Chris seems confused on why that's a problem "is that bad?," tears fall harder.
"I..I love Dan." I say looking into his eyes. He can see the pain, he hugs me and says he's deeply sorry and he won't tell Dan or PJ. But it isn't enough, I just want to be with Dan.
You're worthless. Disgusting.
My mind is filling with thoughts.
Chris said he has to go and he'll call me later to check on me.
It's 11:43 p.m. and Dan finally comes home, I'm on the couch and he asks if I was okay while he was gone, and nod. He doesn't say anything else just goes into his room.
I really wanna tell Dan. But I can't.
I'm just a mistake. I shouldn't love him, I want to die. I try not to cry.
It's silly I want to be happy for him.
I try to forget about everything and decide to go on younow.
When I get on the comments are rushing with fans.
"Hey guys, how is everyone?"
I say with a fake smile. Everyone is commenting and asking how I am
"I'm doing fine thanks" I smile.
For awhile we talk about this moth that is attacking me. Then I forget that I'm live and I just stare at the keyboard. Still thinking about Dan. A tear falls down my face, then I pull myself together. I look at the comments and people are asking if I'm okay. "Yeah I'm just tired, I think I'll end this younow," I lie.
I close my laptop and head into my bedroom and fall asleep.
