Dear Jimmy, Love Denise

10/27/2011

Dear Jimmy,

Hello. You don’t know me, and I never got to know you, either. But let me introduce myself. Hey! I’m Denise! I’m a pretty strange girl. I really don’t look like a rock enthusiast, but music is my life. Rock music, especially. I don’t know what I look like, I guess, but I finally got tattoos! For my favorite band, of course. That would be YOURS.

I don’t remember much about the day you died. Probably because I was stuck in my grief over my great grandmother. But it sure affects me now. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you. I listen to your music almost every day, so that may be part of the reason. I can’t listen to Avenged Sevenfold without thinking of you. The music you all make together… is indescribable. It has touched my life in a way that only one other band in history has done. I will be foREVer grateful.

But, Jimmy, there’s something I can’t figure out. Why? Why did you go? Was it because whatever mission you had here on earth was fulfilled? Or, because you were needed in Heaven? Or was it something darker than that? Were you in too much pain? Could you not get the pain out into song anymore?

What about your friends? What about your family? They need you. Your fans need you, too. The A7X army is more than just fans. We feel like you’re all family. We feel like you’re all one of us, that you understand us. So, now that you’re gone, it’s like we lost a brother.

There’s an empty hole in my soul now. I’m sure I’m not the only A7X soldier that is like that, either. There’s a hole left there, and it’s a shade darker now, now that your light is gone. Well, it’s not gone, but it doesn’t shine anywhere near as brightly now. I feel myself growing scared of that darkness, wondering why it has to be this way.

I think the guys are doing ok. I mean, I unfortunately don’t know them, either, but I hope to meet them on December 3rd of this year, 2012. They’re trying, Jimmy. They miss you a lot. They’re trying to do what you would have wanted. I hope you are proud of them. The A7X army is, and we’re standing behind them. They’ve found a drummer in Arin, at least for now. I respect him for what he’s doing, and I hope he stays. He’s keeping your art alive, Jimmy, alive so we can listen and remember. It’s so beautiful, Jimmy, that I don’t want it to ever die. I guess that’s why I got you and the band tattooed into my skin, foREVer.

I hope that you are with us, all of us that are proud to be members of the A7X army. Even if you can’t be with us, at least be with your family and the guys especially when they’re performing. I know they probably think of you each time. I know that, when I go to their show, I will be thinking of you for sure. How can I not, when you were one of the cornerstones of the beautiful entity that IS A7X?

Normally, I can’t help but be a little mad at you, James. Mad that you left us, and took your wondrous talent with you. Mad that the world will not get to keep experiencing the beautiful art you create. Mad that I could never meet you while you were here, blessing this earth with everything that WAS Jimmy Sullivan. But now… now I’m just sad. Sad that you’re gone, sad that there will be no new Sullivan artwork. Sad that the guys are hurting, and there’s nothing any of us A7X soldiers can really do to make it better.

I’m sorry, Jimmy. I’m sorry if life made you hurt. I’m sorry that it had to be this way. I just hope that you’ve found your peace. That maybe this wasn’t all for naught.

I may write to you again someday, Jimmy. Until then, I know you’re in Heaven, looking down at all of us. I hope that we make it somewhat easy on you, when you look after us. I love you, Jimmy. This world needs more people like you…

Sincerely,

Denise K. Bast

A7X soldier