I Didn't Realise

Chapter 2 - Texting Buddies

~Monday~

Hyperventilating. Sweating. Tossing. Turning.

"Mum! Don't go! Don't go, mum! No!"

I woke up. My body shaking. Tears had already made small puddles on top of my pillow.

I reached for my iPhone, not realising how shaky and unsteady my hand was and dropped it.

Unimpressed and full of exhaustion, I flopped out of my bed and collapsed onto the floor. I finally managed to dig my phone out from the heap of clothes - which I'm assuming are dirty - on the floor.

I pressed the home button and saw I had no notifications what so ever. What did I expect? 12 new followers? I'm a nobody for crying out loud, I only have around 50 followers. Most of which are relatives and even relatives of relatives.

I pushed myself up off of the floor with all of my might, and began to walk towards my bathroom.

I suddenly froze. Remembering that my mom still wasn't here, after 4 years, to comfort me from my nightmare. In fact, she was in it. I just realised what the nightmare was about.

Mom.

I forced my tears back because it seemed silly that after all this time, I still wake up thinking that she'll be there. By my side. When I needed her the most.

But I know this cannot happen.

I headed straight to the toilet, evidently knowing that I was going to heave my guts up any minute now. (I get like this when I'm really upset or thinking about something, like my mom).

After I'd emptied the contents of my stomach from last nights midnight snack - hang on, since when did I have carrots... Ew! - I grabbed my Citrus and Zest Febreeze out of my cupboard and attacked the awful stench that the contents of my stomach had created.

When I was done with everything in the bathroom, I got dressed and headed downstairs.

"Dad?!" I shouted through the empty rooms and long hallways.

No answer. No sound at all.

This was expected though to be honest, we haven't had the best relationship since mom died. He pretty much put all of his attention and time into his work. He's probably forgotten that I even exist.

"Ugh!" I groaned, realising that I'm on my own. Again.

After drinking my hot chocolate and eating my yummy as hell bacon pancakes mmm... I started to text my friend that I've had for a while now. We met through Instagram and because I'm such a shy person, I didn't ask him what his name is. All I know is that he's mw1700 from Nevada. That's it. Don't judge, I forgot how it all started anyways...

Never seen his face. Never heard his voice. No-one even knows I've been talking to him. Not even Nattie, the person I've known for almost 3 years now, and I tell her everything, well everything but my mom.

I know what you're probably thinking and no. No, he is not some old dirty pervert.

Nattie and I became friends shortly after my mom died. Once I moved here from San Francisco, I decided to not mention my mom to anyone as I knew I would just have a break down and I sure as hell didn't want that to happen.