Winter Kisses (Bullet For My Valentine)

I sat cross legged on my bed flipping through one of my many old photo albums. I let my gaze fall around all the pictures of me smiling, laughing and pulling stupid poses. I was happy back then. Genuinely happy.

 Well I suppose I should get started and tell you my story. You see when I was sixteen years old my parents were in a tragic car accident, that resulted in my sister and I losing both of them. We were of course both heartbroken, we had no idea what to do, my sister became my guardian and so, she had to make a big decision.

 At the time she was nineteen and had been going out with a guy named Padge, he was from Wales. Whenever they had enough money they'd fly over and see one another. They met when she was studding in the college in Bridgend. He was everything to her after it happened, and if I'm being honest, he got us both through it.

 What was the decision she had to make? Where we were going to live. Of course we had our family home, but living there was bringing back way too many memories, so after months of consideration and planning, we moved to Wales.

 She could be with Padge and I could get myself a place at the college there. We could have a fresh start. A chance to start over, forget everything that happened, leave our past behind us and move on with our lives. I ruined that fresh start.

 We moved here almost two years ago, but this all only started a few weeks ago. Padge and three of his mates are in a band together, they're actually very successful. Bullet for my Valentine, that's the band's name, they have an album, an EP and a live DVD out at the moment.

 They go on tour way to much for my sister's liking though, so this time she decided she was going to get herself a proper goodbye.

 We planned a going away party for them, we had bought decorations and everything, but when the day came, we were both too lazy to actually put up any of them up, or put any effort in at all. Instead we basically had a boozing party, we invited all the band around, some of their girlfriends came too. I had a few of my best friends from college round, but they seemed to drift away as the night went on. Lightweights.

 ''Aw they look so cute together!'' I remember my sister, Bella, slurring at me as I sat in one of the seats of our vintage garden swing with Matt in the one beside me. I sighed and shook my head as I blushed at her comment and continued to play with the long grass under my bare feet, sparing a glance at Matt though and deciding that possibly, just maybe, we did look cute together.

 I know what you're thinking, why do they have children's toys in their garden? Because we wanted one, so we got one.

 By the end of the night though, we became more than cute though. I don't remember everything from that night, thanks to all the alcohol I consumed, but what I do remember is Matt taking me up to my bedroom, and waking up next to him the morning after with only a sheet wrapped around me. To be honest I don't even have to remember that, the little thing living in my belly does it for me.

~ ~ ~

''Lizzy! Are you ready yet! We'll be late!'' Bella whined at me from the bottom of our stairs, I smiled lightly at my sisters tone of voice, it was a mix of annoyance and sleepiness, her typical morning sound.

 I threw the photo album I had been looking through under my plush black pillow, dragged a brush through my already straightened hair, grabbed my school bag and ran down dark oak staircase to meet my sister pulling on a jacket as she walked out the front door ahead of me.

 ''Are you alright?'' She asked glancing across at me as I buckled myself into the car, struggling slickly with the catch on my seat belt.

 ''I guess, why?'' I questioned now securely strapped in, I moved so I could flick to number three on the Bullet for my Valentine CD we had permanently playing on the radio.

 ''You're really pale, are you sick or something?'' She asked backing away from me slightly as Four Words blasted through our speakers, she was one of those people who hated any type of sickness. I rolled my eyes and shook my head to signal that she was in no danger of catching a cold.

 In what seemed like no time at all we had reached the college, not wanting to have to go into detail and wear myself out before classes even started I decided to postpone telling her what was wrong. ''Sick is one way of describing it, I'll explain everything later.'' I sighed hugging her sideways and hopping out of the car to begin my trek through the college gates. Then into the overcrowded and not to mention overheated, hallways.

 After I found my way through the buzzing corridor and emptied my locker of all the textbooks and stationery I was going to need for the day I slammed it shut only to find my best friend, Brian, standing behind it just waiting to scare me... again.

 ''Holy fuck Brian, stop doing that!'' I whined as he linked arms with me to our morning class. He was a year older then me, with shaggy black hair that always looked effortless against his tanned skin, he was tall but only an inch or two above me and toned in all the right places. I suppose he could be classed as a babe magnet for some people, but to me, he was just Brian.

 ''No, it's too much fun.'' He smirked as we turned the corner for room 17, Art. We were both majoring in art, I had big plans of becoming a tattoo artist in the local shop when I graduated. It had been a dream of mine to be able to actually draw on people for a living for as long as I can remember.

 ''Maybe for you...'' I mumbled as I took my usual seat next to the window and threw my bag down at my feet. I crossed my legs under the small wooden desk and folded my arms across its varnished surface.

 ''Good morning class, I trust none of you have your usual hangover's this beautiful Monday morning.'' My sickeningly chirpy teacher mocked as she waddled in, wearing yet another too-tight skirt.

 There was an overwhelming groan from my classmates, signaling that they did indeed have hangovers, which always made me chuckle. They never seemed to get the message that if you have classes the next day, don't get pissed out of your freaking mind.

 ''Well then I have great news for you all. Test.'' She smirked throwing a bundle of stabled paper sheets onto each of our desks.

 This should be fun.

~ ~ ~

  ''Want some?'' My other best friend, Sophia asked pushing her bottle of vodka closer to me, that girl always seemed to be carrying one of those little flasks on a Monday, although I never saw her drink on any other day of the week.

  She was a pretty ordinary girl, long blonde hair and dark blue eyes. She wasn't quite as tall or slim as I was but she had a devilish smile which could win anyone over.

 ''Nah, I'm good, thanks.'' I sighed declining her offer, which under any other circumstances, I would have gladly accepted. I shrugged as she gave me a puzzled look and let my gaze fall to the ground.

 ''Have you turned non drinker or some shit?'' Brian asked inhaling deeply on the Marlboro cigarette between his fingers. I rolled my eyes at his dry humor, lately it had been starting to annoy me.

 ''I'm just not in the mood alright?'' I snapped, my hormones were seriously fucking up lately, I was bitchy one minute and then I wanted to cry the next.

 ''Fine God... I was only asking. Want a drag?'' He asked looking a bit surprised with my outburst. It was really killing me not being able to tell them that I was pregnant yet, but I still hadn't even told Bella , not to mention Matt. I just had to figure out the right time to let them know.

 ''No, thanks.'' I smiled weakly. I heard somewhere that smoking is bad when you're pregnant, this is definitely going to be a tough nine months for me.

''Holy fuck, are you turning into a nun or something?'' He chuckled as Bella pulled up outside the school gates right on time.

''Far from it.'' I winked shoving my school bag onto my shoulder again and walking out through the front gates.

Far, far from it.