Through the Dark and Light

Chapter 1: The Start of it All

...

The cold air accumulates what appears to be a darkened world around me, devoid of all life and light, almost as if nothing ever was meant to exist.  I found myself here again, trapped in this hell hole like every night.  I try to stop and wake up, but nothing I do makes it go away, removes this void from my life.  As the chills slowly become more intense, a figure appears before me, then the memory, then the moment.  Another nightmare to try and scare me once again...

The figure was a lot like me...it was me.  He turned around and I saw him again.  His blackened eyes, the scars on his face, the blood on his shirt and jacket, almost as if he was like some evil doppelgänger or evil half.  He clenched a knife in his hand, covered in blood.

"So...we meet again Risky.  I don't understand you sometimes.  You wish to have the nightmares end, but you always keep crawling back~." He threw the knife in the air and caught it by its hilt, holding it as if he was preparing to stab.  "I know what you've done in your life.  All your wrong and rights...but the wrongs are what I LOVE to read.  It's delicious what a 'passive' man can do violently, is it not?" He snickers and walks closer.  "I am always a part of you, the evil subconscious of your very being, the other half of your personality, the opposite of your own nature.  Its sad we have to keep reiterating the same story over and over again, isn't it?  You hold regrets, anger, and much much more that you hide deep in your soul."

I finally mustered enough to speak to myself once again, "There are many things I want to hide, and you know that well."

"So you choose to suffer internally to hold some 'secrets' that you don't want told?" He smiles at me again, his razor fangs showing, almost oozing with blood.  "You're just a fucking disgrace, you know that?  It makes you wonder how your mother died to save you when she could have saved herself.  To be blunt, she was more worthy than you ever could be..." Through the darkness, memories began to form, many were of my childhood, many were...dark and disturbing.  "See this one?  This is the première for tonight's show!" 

It was seven years ago, I was only about 13 when it happened.  Me and my mother were going to the store for some food, cooking items, and whatever appealed to her eye.  She was cracking some jokes as she usually did, and she did that to see me smile.  We found some amazing things along the way, she even took a trip to the crossbow portion of the store.  She tried teaching me how to hunt since I was about 9, because she wanted to try going hunting with me sometime.  I remember the trip was fun until the very end.

Several moments passed, I say we spent an hour just getting some basic stuff because she loved to explore everything before leaving.  As we left, some men came up to us, one holding a gun and the other a knife.  They were dressed rather strangely: one was in a red jacket and the other was just wearing a white shirt.  Both were wearing darkened jeans and the same black hat.  One ordered her to drop her food and her money, but when she refused, they just...charged her.  They pinned her down to the ground and began beating her up, as the other pinned me down to the ground.  He held open me eyes, making sure I couldn't blink, he wanted me to see the entire crime, as if they knew they would get away with it.

The bang ringed though my ears, as if the whole world has ended in one fell swoop.  They made me watch, I saw my own mother killed in front of me, and they made me watch...they then went onto me, kicking and punching.  In the end, they beat me until I lost consciousness...

...

The image faded into the darkness, and the figure appeared again...

"You see, Risky..." the knife was brandished and blood covered.  "I know ALL your darkest memories.  She put up a fight until she was murdered, and YOU just did nothing!  She put her life to an end to save some worthless, pitiful, useless man who to this day can't even stand against ANYTHING!" he stabbed me in the chest, twisting the knife.  "It makes me SICK to see people like you breathing..." He yanked out the knife and aimed for me head, and the darkness consumed...

...

I woke up, breathing rather quickly and obviously startled.  It was him again, he always tries to degrade me, even though he IS me.  It's like he wants me to suffer.  I could barely gather any sleep over the last few days, and this was driving me fucking crazy!  All I wanted is to try and leave this behind, but he wants to cling to it, almost as if he ENJOYS it.  Then again, he probably does so what's the point?  After a minute or two of trying to calm down, I shakily risen from my bed and quickly turned on the light.  The wooden walls of my little shack illuminated almost instantly, the room appears to be decent size, enough for a bed and a dresser, so you know, the necessities.  I moved into this little shack years ago, I ran away from my old home to find this one.  I've been living off the game here for the longest time to where anything new comes as a surprise to me, almost like a Christmas or birthday gift.  I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing I snapped back into reality, or close enough to it.  I walked into the bathroom and stared at my reflection for some time.  My hair was, as usual, badly kept.  It was messy and close to covering my eyes.  It has never been straight, and hardly ever kept to standard.  Most mornings, whatever my hair looked like is how I kept it, so I never had the same hair do two days in a row.

I splashed water upon my face, the coldness almost reminded me of the chills of the nightmare realm last night, but this was more tolerable.  As I walked out, I grabbed my usual gear: a bow, a few arrows, and a knife.  I knew I had to find breakfast soon anyway, so I had to go find it again.  I was hoping maybe a squirrel or two landed in a trap, so I could cook it up.  Who knows, maybe it'll be rabbit stew again.  As I walked out, I faced the kitchen again.  It's much bigger than my room, enough for a table and a few chairs, despite never having company, a heater I use to cook food, and some water buckets.  The light was piercing through the decently big window near the door.  When I came here years ago, I already found all this furniture in the house, making me wonder who the hell lived here and why they left.  However, that was behind me now, for I had a roof over my head.  I live decently far away from the nearest town, Sherlek, and I rarely visited there.  The last time I went into town was for some food when the game near my usual hunting grounds stopped going there.  I had some money to my name, but I almost never spent it.  With a sigh of both readiness and anticipation, I left the shack and began heading towards the latest hunting ground...