Shift

EIGHTEEN.2

Kayden took her time scrubbing the dirt out of her fingernails. Her muscles ached from working in the field, especially her back. The steam kneaded the knots away and, by the time she stepped out of the shower, the entire bathroom was coated in a thin layer of mist.

She wrapped herself in a white towel and headed into her room, but she was surprised to see that Blaze was sitting on her bed. He was only wearing a pair of boxers and a white t-shirt.

"Wrong bed," Kayden said. She was acutely aware of the fact that she was nearly naked.

"I need to talk to you about something," Blaze said.

"Oh. Um... okay." She shut the bedroom door so that it was only open a crack. Her mom didn't want the room door to ever be locked so this was the best way to gain some sense of privacy. When Kayden turned back to face Blaze, she noticed that he looked uncomfortable, as if he wanted desperately to be somewhere else. He couldn't seem to keep eye contact with her and he kept running his fingers through his short brown hair.

"So," she said, breaking the silence as she sat down next to him. Her hair dripped down her chest, pooling at the edge of her towel. "What is it you wanted to tell me?"

"I... I guess it's more of a question," he said, speaking slowly. "I've been thinking about this for a few days, and then when I saw our parents talking like that..." He trailed off.

"Okay?" Kayden didn't know where this was going. Blaze looked like he was struggling for words. "What is it?"

"Well, I just wanted to know..." He hesitated. "I wanted to make sure I'm not the only one going crazy."

"Going crazy?" Kayden felt her heart rate speed up. "What do you mean crazy? Are you all right?"

"Not crazy," Blaze corrected hastily. "That was the wrong word." He looked down at his wrist. "When we originally made the Bonding Oath, it was supposed to simply seal our agreement. But after the shift happened, we started getting all these strange side effects."

"Yeah...?"

"Well, I was just wondering, if besides binding us together physically... like with the stomachaches and the transporting... if it is also binding us... emotionally." He looked up at her intently.

Kayden's stomach flipped and it had nothing to do with the Bonding Oath spell. "You mean... like empathy?" She knew that wasn't what he meant, but she refused to be the one who said it. Her stomach was so heavy she thought it was going to drop out of her skin and leave a watermelon-sized hole in the ground.

"No, like..." He looked like he was physically in pain, but Kayden waited until he finally choked out the word: "Attraction."

There was a moment of silence and then he added, "I was just wondering if you felt anything too."

"Oh." Kayden's skin felt warm. "Well... yeah, I did." She didn't know why she was speaking in past tense. "And you?"

"Yeah," he said, and then, to Kayden's disappointment, the pained look on his face melted away, revealing a smile. "I thought I was going insane—well, not insane just that... This spell is really screwing with us. And I just wanted to see if you were getting the same side effects."

Kayden dug her nails into the cotton towel and tried to grin back at him. "Yeah, that clears things up a bit," she lied. "The feelings...It's all because of the spell."

"Exactly. Maybe we can even see if that herbalist can tweak the tea a bit? Make it go away? I can ask Walter about it tomorrow."

"Yeah, sounds good," Kayden said. "And when magic shifts back, there won't be anymore... weirdness and stuff?" She had tried to keep the strange note out of her voice and wasn't sure if she succeeded. Blaze didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, once magic is reversed, everything should be back to normal. And then we don't have to worry about it." He stood up and grinned. He seemed replenished; Kayden felt ill.

"Sorry for the awkwardness and for just launching that at you right after your shower," he added. "I just wanted to check with you."

"Yeah, I understand," she said, watching as he reached for the doorknob. "Where are you heading?"

"To the fridge," he said. "I think your mom smuggled some fancy Greek yogurts out of the kitchen. Want something?"

"Nah," she said, standing up. "I'm going to brush my teeth and go to bed. My back kills from picking weeds all day."

"Yeah, me too." He opened the door. "See you in a few." And he slipped out.

Her head spinning, Kayden got dressed and made a beeline towards the bathroom. Her reflection copied her as she scrubbed at her teeth and combed her hair. Her skin was crawling; she half expected to see cockroaches scurrying over her skin.

The conversation played over and over in her head.

She hadn't thought of it that way. She had thought that the feelings she had begun to develop towards him were genuine—suppressed and impractical, but genuine. She had never thought of the obvious: that this was just another side effect of the Bonding Oath. Everything she was experiencing, all the thoughts of him looking at her, holding her, kissing her... they were all conjured by a green symbol on her wrist.

She spit into the sink and stared her reflection in its green eyes. She felt violated. She had grown up reading fairytales where magic never had control over love or desire. Magic wasn't supposed to be able to mess with the part of her brain that was in command of her feelings. Magic wasn't supposed to pluck at her heartstrings and fill her mind with implausible fantasies.

Blaze feels it too, so at least I'm not the only one, she reasoned. She wasn't the only one who had fallen for the Bond's magic.

A rogue thought floated through her head: He's attracted to me.

She scowled, hating herself for even thinking it. It wasn't real. Blaze liked her because of a spell, not because of her personality or her looks or any other valid reason.

"Stop it," she muttered, and she splashed her face with cold water from the sink. There was no use being excited if someone liked you because of a spell. There was no use in liking someone because of a spell.

As she stared at her reflection, four words kept repeating themselves in her head: I can beat this. The spell controlled how far apart she could be from him, but she wouldn't give it the power to control her feelings. She would find a way to fight it. She would do what was necessary to take back her mind.

When she returned to the bedroom, Blaze was eating a cup of yogurt. She climbed into her bed, trying not to look at him, and nestled her head into her pillow. "Good night," she said before closing her eyes, trying to block out his image with the darkness of her eyelids.

But even with her eyes shut, she could still hear him, feel his presence in the room as if it were something tangible in the darkness. She forced herself to keep her eyes closed, even when she heard him set down his yogurt on the side table. Even when she heard him leaning over to turn off the desk light. Even when he settled down into his own bed, the mattress groaning on its springs and the sheets rustling like paper.

And when she heard him sigh, she squeezed her eyes tighter and silently yelled at herself for hoping that he was sighing about her.

* * *

This is one of my favorite scenes, so please let me know what you think! If you catch any errors, please tell me so I can correct them! And of course if you liked it, please consider voting for it :)

Also, for those of you reading this on April 26, tomorrow is my birthday! Which means, I'm going to post the next part tomorrow as a birthday gift to me (and you)! So get excited for that.

~Bdicocco