when it was a little too late

drunk

Jiwon was drunk. Dead drunk. He sure would regret having taken in so much alcohol the next day when hangover would be torturing him harsh, but for now, for the night, he couldn't care less. Sometimes being lightheaded was exactly what he needed, despite the consequences, for instance, having Hanbin throwing a tantrum at him.

Oh, talking about Hanbin...

Hanbin was there too.

Jiwon cracked a stupid grin when he realised the mentioned boy was sitting right beside him, trying to make sure he didn't mess things up or get caught by the paparazzi.

With the same innocent childlike smile playing on his lips, he turned to his side, eyes meeting Hanbin's. His vision was blurry, but still, Hanbin always found a way to stand out the most in Jiwon's eyes, without even being aware of it. Jiwon chuckled lightly to himself, "God know what this boy would do if he knew he has this kind of affect on me..."

Hanbin furrowed his eyebrows as he cautiously questioned,

-Hyung? Hyung! What are you looking at? What's wrong? Do you want me to take you back to our dorm yet?

Jiwon's smile widened, and he leaned in a little bit closer to Hanbin,

-No, not yet.

-What are you doing?

Jiwon's eyes were glistened with amusement as he leaned in closer and closer until the gap between their lips was not much more than an inch or two and the tips of their noses were brushing gently against each other's and Hanbin's nervous uneven breath was fanning Jiwon's face. He whispered lowly,

-What else do you think this is?

Hanbin seemed alarmed, he backed away immediately,

-Hyung, don't.

-Why not?

-It's not the right thing to do and you will regret this tomorrow. Or to the rest of your life. Just don't. I can't. We can't.

Jiwon could notice the slight fear spreading all over Hanbin's orbs. He sighed and patted Hanbin's back,

-Okay then, let's go back.

Hanbin couldn't bare to look straight into Jiwon's eyes, because he knew they were filled with sorrow and disappointment, and guilt would eat him up.

But it wasn't like he had any other choice.

The whole way home, they acted like nothing was different, Hanbin's arm was still firm on Jiwon's back and Jiwon's arm still slung around Hanbin's shoulder for more support. But, they didn't dare to utter a word. It was the first time when the silence between Jiwon and Hanbin wasn't comfortable at all.

The first of many, may I add.

He was drunk and of course it was the best excuse to blame on the next morning. He shouldn't be worried about it at all.

But the thing was that, they both were well aware of how Jiwon's seemingly out-of-nowhere action had nothing to do with his drunken state, not in the slightest possibility.

Jiwon was so sick of the tension in the air hanging around them that as awkward as the situation was, he decided to speak up first,

-Hanbin ah?

Hanbin hummed something inaudible in reply. But Jiwon heard it anyway. Wasn't he always, listening carefully to every unspoken words coming from Hanbin, though? He took the hum as his cue to continue,

-Well, I'm sorry. I'm drunk. I didn't mean it.

Yes, it was, again, the most boring reason that no one, not even their not-yet-adult maknae would actually buy. Of course he meant it, he had always meant it, but Jiwon was left with no better option, so he went for it anyway. He knew Hanbin would pretend to believe, just so that they could remain casual around each other, again.

Hanbin wordlessly tightened his hold around Jiwon's back, as a simple but clear sign, that Jiwon was already forgiven, unconditionally.

Hanbin never actually planned to be mad at Jiwon, to be frank. There was no point in doing so, Jiwon was just not as good as Hanbin at controlling his emotion, and Hanbin could understand and empathise that.

Jiwon smiled brightly and pulled Hanbin closer as he began to tell a random joke he just came up with. It was so so lame and irrelevant, but somehow, Hanbin choked out in laughters as always. Was there even a time when Jiwon told a joke and Hanbin didn't laugh? No, no there wasn't. Obviously not.

And just like that, everything got back to the way they originally were.

The only thing changed was that they both remembered that night, the night when Jiwon was not so sober and almost kissed Hanbin and ruined everything they had ever tried to maintain.

Well, guess what, it was just their luck that Hanbin was sober enough to resist Jiwon.

He could do it once, he could do it twice, he could do it a couple more times, but could Hanbin really resist Jiwon forever?

No, I don't think so.

Not at all.