Heart of Glass

two

mother

(Sioux, Join Hands: 1979)

i

The sunlight floods through my window. Even from this distance I can feel the warmth of it on my cheek. I tilt my face towards it, the brightness turning my closed eyelids from almost black to fleshy pink.

Mmmm. I stretch out in my bed. Pure luxury. Mum never usually lets me sleep in late, says that's how you waste the best part of the day. I haven't been allowed to stay in bed past nine all holiday. So I'm gonna enjoy this. I stretch my legs out further and further, but soon there's no bed left beneath them, my feet dangling in mid-air. It's like the bottom of my bed has just disappeared.

Hang on.

This isn't my bed.

This isn't even my room.

I open one eye and peer at my surroundings, as my brain scrabbles to make sense of it.

Those aren't my curtains. They're pale and flimsy and do nothing to block out the light, not like my heavy dark purple ones.

There are my posters, my guitar... but this isn't my room.

It's like the room in my dream. Six walls, all painted cream. Two doors, one to the landing, one to the closet. But everything is in different places. In my dream, this bed was directly under the window, the desk over there, the chest of drawers here.

But wait.

This is my room now. Right?

My heavy purple curtains are still in a box somewhere in this new house. My decent –sized bed belonged to the old flat. Left behind. Along with my sanity, apparently.

I shake my head to try to get rid of the remnants of my weird dreams. It was like I was me, but not me. I was me, but inside another girl's body. And I knew him, Marcus. More than being my "brother", there's something about him, something I recognise even now that I'm back to being me, the real me I mean, Dani.

Yeah, I'm definitely going nuts.

I check my phone for the time. 11:07. And below the time, a little envelope. A text.

My heart flips.

Listend to playlist yet?

It's him. It's Jay!

I sit bolt upright in bed. I punch the air in triumph and let out a little squeeeee!

He. Texted. Me.

First he hugs me. Then he texts me. This means something right? RIGHT?

I hold my phone out towards Debbie and she pouts her approval.

But what do I say?

Play it cool, says Suzi. And the others agree.

I put the phone back on my bedside table.

Today is gonna be a good day.

I shove my feet into my flip flops and make my way out of my room and down the stairs. As I reach the bottom step, I pause to listen for sounds of Mum. A cupboard door closes in the kitchen. Bingo.

I practically skip down the hall. Or as close to skipping as you can get in flip flops.

'Morning!'

Mum looks up from a cardboard box, two mugs in her hands, a surprised expression on her face. 'You're cheerful. The lie-in has obviously done you good.'