That Girl And her Tiger Tattoo

ch. 9- the other girl

I followed Tom home and up the drive to his house. We reached the door and not bothering to knock, he walked right in. I was shocked, because of, course, I hadn't been in a family situation for quite a while.
We walked in and I met his mother right away. She was a nice middle aged woman with dark hair and dark eyes. She was kind of thin and had a happy smile.
I nod hello, rendered silent.
Her smile grows wider and finally she flings herself at me and hugs me. "Oh my gosh, Tom got a girlfriend!!!"
"Uh... yeah," I say.
"Oh, you're not, are you?" She says, disappointment crossing her face. Then, it turns to a sheepish smile. "Once he had over a girl for a science project and I said the same thing..."
"No, I am!" I exclaim. "It's just... I'm surprised." I laugh nervously.
His mom has another wide smile. "Really? That's great!" She hugs me again. "Tom hasn't had anyone in his life like that since..." she trails off, sounding kind of sad.
I nod quickly, ready for a subject change. "Yea. He figured he'd show me his house since he already saw mine."
"Oh. He's seen your house already? How long have you to had this thing going?"
"Oh, just a few days, mom," Tom says quickly. "But, we've been through a lot and it was a big change for her cause she uh... moved."
"Oh, I see."
"Yea."
"Well, that's nice, sweetheart. So when do I meet your parents?"
"Um... they're not my actual parents and I'm not incredibly close with them yet."
"Oh. You're adopted?"
"No. Foster care. Y'know, in the system."
Tom looks uncomfortable and he just rubs the back of his neck nervously.
His mother's eye twitches.
"Oh... but, you seemed like such a nice kid," she says softly.
"Uh... I am...?" I say, but it sounds like more of a question.
"Mhm." His mom crosses her arms and gives Tom a look.
I've seen this look too many times before. It means "just tell her."
Tom nods and grabs my hand. "Let's talk about some things." Then, he leads me upstairs. "My room's up here," he explains.
"K then."
We head upstairs to a neat room with dark blue paint on the walls and a dark blue comforter on the bed. Two posters hang on the wall, one's for Hollywood Undead and the other is a Star Wars one.
I sit on the bed and he sits in a wooden chair that he pulls over from the small metal desk.
"There was once a new girl at our school."
I sighed and listened, not really wanting to hear about another girl being with Tom. But, I was intrigued.
"Anyway, she was one of a kind. She stood out to me, like you. She wasn't like the other girls. She didn't hide from her insecurities or compare them to other girls' insecurities. She didn't worry about her facial features or again, compare them to other girls'. She didn't say what she thought about how her face was better or worse than others. She didn't worry about American beauty standards and she wasn't afraid of pain. Instead, she wanted to go head on and deal with these things. She wanted to face her insecurities so that she wouldn't have to be insecure. She wanted to embrace pain and break the threshold by getting a tattoo or piercing. It would look cool, and it would be a sign of that day that she made history by becoming stronger. She meant well."
I put my hand on Tom's as I noticed his eyes begin to water just a little.
"Anyway, it didn't end how she'd have wanted it. I know she meant well, I know she just wanted to be strong. But... yea. She was in foster care like you and had a tough life. But, she wasn't suicidal or anything like that. She refused to allow herself to take her own life because she just wanted to be strong. But, she was becoming weaker, too. She was suffering through life but kept putting up a front that she was just going with the flow. I finally asked her out. We'd been through a lot and I cared a great deal for her."
"Of, course," I say, rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb.
"She said... She wasn't sure. She was in a bad position for a relationship which I understood but I was crushed. I nodded and walked away from her as she told me I was a great guy and all that. But, I couldn't do it to myself. I wasn't ready to fight the pain of waiting and seeing and getting my hopes up and being disappointed. I would not help her fight her demons."
"It's ok. I get it."
He bows his head and continues on. "So... I was still her friend but we weren't the same anymore. We drifted farther apart, little by little. Soon, we were just friends that talked every once in awhile. I soon heard things that she hadn't told me. She was part of a gang. She had a lot more tattoos. She had a bad ass boyfriend. I was devastated. She had chosen that lifestyle over me. And then, I realized I had not known how to save a life. I hadn't waited for her. I hadn't tried to endure the pain of life like she had, where I picked up every burden of life on my shoulders and carried it forward nobly."
"I understand."
"Good then explain it to me. Cause I don't get how someone could let their pride slip in the way."
"Of, course, you can," I say. "You're a human being that makes mistakes. It's human nature and the way it's supposed to be. Now tell me what happened to her."
"She overdosed one day. She was found in the woods and it was proclaimed a suicide."
"It's ok. It's not your fault. You were hurting, too. She hurt you and you hurt her. No one was hurt worse and she's not better than you in any way. You're both on the same boat, Tom. But, it's time for you to stop carrying the guilt like she carried all her burdens before you end the same way she did. That's something I really don't want for you."
We talk awhile longer about other things, normal things, but I think both our minds were on the previous topic.
Finally, I headed home for the night and ate dinner.