Letters to the Dead | short story

you needed comfort

Hey best friend,

We were weird. I can admit that, and I'm sure a lot of people could. We were outcasts, but all we needed was each-other. We didn't need any part of society coming to change us. But you never talked to me in time of trouble or comfort. Your letter said you didn't want to bore me with your problems, but you wanted to feel needed. So you wished to be popular. I thought we were enough for each-other to make it through high school. Us and Alex, well before he left us both, and now I'm the only one left. I guess your wish came true because people started to compliment you in the hall, and I did notice that people were paying more attention to you, but I thought it was because you dyed hair purple. Just like your name, Violet. I think I'm going to dye my hair purple too. You got more and more followers on your social media, and now that you were extremely skinny, you were confident enough to post pictures of yourself. You still don't care that starving yourself to bone, or not keeping the food down was unhealthy. You just wanted to be socially accepted. Eventually you got a couple thousand followers, some people were nice, but some were not. I saw you crying while looking at your phone one night, but I only thought you were watching a sappy romantic movie like you said you were. We used to watch those too. On the cold rainy nights we would cry in each other's arms like babies. I never knew people insulted you, bullied you, they made you feel even worse about yourself. You should've never felt that way. You should've told me what was going on. I could've been the one to save you. Days go by and soon you lost even more weight, you're pale, and you have been wearing extremely baggy clothing, but the size was still a small. You said people have been hurting you so much emotionally, that drugs and self- harm was the answer. They aren't. Physical pain does not ease the emotional pain for long enough. I should know, but I just never told you. Those are temporary solutions for your problem, and they just create even more issues you had to deal with as time went on. But still, you thought it was fine, and you said you would stop using drugs and hurting yourself soon. It was just a phase you said. But in your letter you said you've been using them for 3 years. It wasn't a phase. The doctors told me differently. They told me when I bawled my eyes out, screaming in pain from the loss. You deserve to feel wanted without having to be the most popular and loved person at your school, or job. You just need a few people who love you to make it through. You wished to be popular, and you were, but the people who made you popular, also made you feel dead and alone inside. You needed comfort, and that's exactly what those drugs did.

Always yours,

-m