Suicidal

A Normal Day

I wake up at 5:30 am and get ready for school. Black pants,black boots,black T-shirt and a zip up jacket that is darker gray. I grab my bag at about 6:00 and go to the bus stop. When the bus gets there I get on and a girl says to me" hey are you going to a funeral?" I just ignore it like she said nothing. When I get to school I go upon stairs and wait for my 2 friends to come up, their names are Brianna and Tina. They are 2 out of my 3 friends. The other friends name is Madi. "Hey Emma" I hear Tina say
"Hi" I say
"Hey guys what's up" Brianna says as she walks up to us
"Nothing much you" Tina asks
"I got new shoes" bri (Brianna) says
"Cool" I say
"I know I ask this every day but are you okay" Tina asks
"I'm fine" I say knowing its a lie
"Okay I just worry about you" she says
"Yeah her and I both" Bri says
"I'm fine guys" I say getting frustrated
"Okay" they both say. The bell rings just after they say it. When I get to my locker and open it I find a note that says" your ugly,nobody loves you,nobody likes you,you should be dead and you are fat as hell." I take the note and give it to Bri and start crying,she hugs me and I cry on her shoulder until the 1 minuit bel rings, and when it does she says"your beautiful and don't believe it"
"Thank you but I know it is true" I say
"STOP" she yells at me "you need to stop telling you're self that" she adds
"Okay I'll try" I replied and walked to class. When I get to class my boyfriend kisses me and asks "what's wrong"
"I will tell you later okay" I say
"Okay,let me see you're wrists" he says
"You already know what they are going to look like" I say
"Sit class" the teacher says. So we all do and get to work doing our bell work. After the class a girl drops a police of paper I pick it up to give it to her but realize it says "vampire girl". Derrick my boyfriend sees it and drops his stuff and hugs me we both stay that way for quite a while and the teachers know what I'm going through so they don't give us tardys. He is really the only one who really gets me. So then we go to third period after second witch is for me choir he takes Spanish first. But luckily Bri takes choir too so she is there with me and the first thing she says to me is " what happened you and Derrick were hugging a long time"
"A girl called me " vampire girl" on a piece of paper" I say
"People can be so mean some times" she says
"No kidding" I say then put in my ear buds because the teacher is absent so we are watching a movie. The bands that I listen to are TØP,MCR,P!ATD,KORN,RHCP,B182, and a few others. Depressing bands,lol.  When I get out of choir I go to art class. We some how get in a debate about would you rater be blind or def I shout "blind so I could kill my self a little bit easier" this cause the teacher to keep me from lunch to make sure I would not hurt my self. This is also the day I feel I made another true friend, Hanna. She is really good at art like 100000x better than me. So the rest of the day just flew by and when I went home I put on MCR and took a blade a split my arm in 4 different places , not too deep but just till I felt a pinch.