Secret Love | A Colifer Fanfiction

Chapter Four

"I'm sorry." Jen stepped back and let go of Colin's hands. "We shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have done that."

Colin watched as she walked back to the car in a hurry, confused, as he thought she felt the same way he did.

"Will you... uh... just take me back?"

He walked back to the car and started to drive back down the hotel. He kept noticing her reflection in the front window, she had a tired look on her face yet something was so alive about her. Her mouth was in a frown, like she regretted what she'd just done but her eyes were saying different. They looked longingly out the window, wanting to return to that moment on the hill. Colin noticed but didn't say anything, he didn't know what the hell he'd even say. So for an hour they sat in silence, until they arrived.

"Thank you." It was Jen who was first to speak as they got out of the car. "For taking me out of the party, I probably would have just ended up too drunk if I'd stayed." She tried to give him a smile at him but he didn't exactly seem happy.

"It's fine, I didn't mind." He said, not looking up at her.

Colin couldn't help but feel angry at her. As they walked up to their rooms all Colin could do was wish they'd never kissed, wish he wouldn't of let her do this to him. He was always scared that letting her know that he had feelings for her would ruin their friendship and he was now pretty sure it had. They had just got to Jens door as Colin was thinking about the way she had looked at him before the kiss when she spoke.

"You're not mad at me, right?" He turned to see her, she had innocence in her eyes that Colin hated right now.

"No of course not." He replied with a smile, he knew he wanted to stay friends with her and this was the only way possible. "That kiss didn't mean anything. I think we both just got caught up in the moment but trust me, we don't have to worry about that ever happening again. We're friends, good friends, and I don't want some worthless moment to ruin that." He tried to sound soothing but his words were harsh in his mouth. He didn't believe any of it, but she nodded and agreed before hugging him and turning around to enter her room whilst Colin did the same.

He lay down to try and get some sleep and forget about this night, but how could he? He'd dreamt of this moment for years and now it's happened but now how he'd planned it.

-

"That kiss didn't mean anything. I think we both just got caught up in the moment but trust me, we don't have to worry about that ever happening again. We're friends, good friends, and I don't want some worthless moment to ruin that." His words echoed in her mind as she slid down the door, letting the tears run down her cheek. I love him, she thought, but he doesn't love me. She didn't regret the kiss but she regretted everything about it. Letting her guard down, letting him know her feelings, it was something Jen had sworn to never do unless she was certain that he wouldn't break her heart like many before.

Why did she pull away, would things of been different if she hadn't, would he have learned to love her?

Her thoughts drowned her as tried to sleep. She laid in bed looking up at the ceiling reliving the moment in her mind. Things were going to be different now she knew it.