The Lost (boyxboy) (Kellic)

Chapter 8

Guys I've decided fuck it. I'll just try to make chapters short for this so that I can post more often. Sorry! Pls love me. Not spell checked sorry.

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Vic didn't know what day it was. He had lost track of the amount of time that had passed. Each hour that went by he'd be blissfully asleep or blissfully numb. His eyes would flutter the minute he woke up and then they'd droop and become half-lidded. It's just the way things had come to work out for him.

It was a lethal routine he had accustomed himself to. But it was a routine he enjoyed nevertheless. When his head swirled with too many thoughts, which always seemed to be the case, he'd quiet them with a simple pill or two. Or when he was out of pills, he'd turn to the white powder the resembled the color of clouds to the gates of heaven. It was wrong of him to use that example, but he felt it was an example that best fit the description.

He couldn't remember when, but some days ago, maybe three, four, a week perhaps, Jenna had introduce him to something new. It was scary. The simple name of the substance had him wondering if he should back off, but then Jenna reminded him of the use and what it would do to help him forget.

"Come on, just try it with me. Hey, if I'm doing it with you it has to be safe, right?" She told him. Vic stared at her and back to the newer bag in her hands. He was contemplating his decision.

"Look, this isn't the first time I've done it, okay? Besides, don't you want to stop hurting about Kellin?" She said. It was such a low move, such a low blow. At that point Jenna had promised herself she'd never stoop that low again to try and persuade him into doing something he wasn't comfortable with. But she saw the defeat in his eyes and she knew she won the inner battle he was having with himself.

"I just want it to go away. But even if I am hopped up on three pills I can still feel his touch on me, his breath against my neck," Vic confessed. Was it him talking, or the drugs? He was like an alcoholic who was in too deep and was revealing his thoughts. Thoughts he no longer wanted to keep, much less have. "I just want it to go away. But it won't. It can't. I just wanted things to be alright."

Guilt flashed through Jenna. But it went just as quickly as it came.

"And this is how it'll go away." She promised him. Hesitantly, he nodded his head, then turned to look out the windows of the car. The area around the car was vacant of any form of life, dark clouds scouring the sky. His vision was blurry though, and the most he could make out was the silver moon barely being suppressed by the clouds that wanted to swallow it whole.

The needle had pressed against her arm before she brought out a new one for Vic to use.

He kicked his legs over the edge of the bed and stared at his feet. That day hadn't been easy for him at all. He had had no recollection of what had happened that morning when he woke up in his car. But all it took was one glance around to know he was in too deep. Still, he filled himself with denial of what was actually going on.

He got up and walked towards his dresser but not before he took one long side glance at the mirror a few feet away from him. He cringed. He felt disoriented. His appearance was disheveled and he smelt bad. After one last pitiful look in the mirror, he grabbed a towel and headed off to the bathroom. Later that day he was going to meet with Jenna. But they would just be in the living room, doing the usual. Or so that's what they planned out.

They came and went. Four, five, seven. The longer he counted the bigger the numbers seemed. He was tired. His body and mind were exhausted. He couldn't keep doing this. Luckily for him though Tony had kept his hands to himself for the time being.