The Lost (boyxboy) (Kellic)

Chapter 9

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The first thing someone would expect to see when opening their eyes is the strong fluorescent glow of the lights hanging above their hospital bed, followed by the tubes and wires connected to them to a machine, managing and tracking their heartbeat. The first thing expected to hear would be the consistent beeping of the machine, and maybe the buzz of the fluorescent lights.

But as Vic's eyes were closed, the noise that was louder than the beeping machine next to him, and the stupid buzz from the lights above him, were the soft whimpers and cries and curses coming from the morbid soul sat on a chair at the end of his bed. The sheets were scratchy against Vic and his pillow felt like a piece of cardboard, but nothing could describe the feeling he got when he struggled to open his eyes to see Jaime sitting there right on the edge of a mental breakdown.

He shot out of his chair, causing it to tip over and crash against the floor loudly, Vic flinching at the abrupt noise. His eyes stung. The light was too bright and the scent of the hospital burned his nose. A nasty lemon scent. Alongside the combination of chemicals. And plastic.

"You know, I should slap you for what you did." Jaime started, clenching his jaw and turning his head away from Vic who looked like a lost and scared puppy.

"But I can't..." Jaime was silent for a minute. "You really scared me." He told him. Vic stared down at his hands, running his finger gently over the needle connected to a tube put into his hand.

"Jaime, I-"

"No, let me finish." He told Vic, stopping him with his hand. When he turned back to look at him, Vic could see pain written behind the glassy exterior of Jaime's eyes. So many emotions were coursing through Jaime. Lately, that's all that had been happening. And lately it seemed like he had zero control over which emotions to feel either.

"You're fucking stupid. What you did, was stupid. Did you even think about the consequences?" Jaime's voice rose. Vic tried quickly to defend himself as the words spewed out of Jaime's mouth like lava, slowly, almost as if so he could process it, and leaving a burning sensation deep inside of Vic.

"I'm-"

"She's dead, Vic! She over dosed and if I wouldn't have gotten to you on time then so would have you! You would've been dead and then who would've been here for Kellin? Huh! Not me because I probably would have killed myself, too!" Anger made lots of people say things they didn't mean. And when Jaime and Vic were together anger was sometimes the only thing controlling them. But these words were not controlled by anger, despite having the same impact, but much rather by his true thoughts. The thoughts that kept Jaime up at night while Vic was in the other room snorting cocaine and smoking cigarettes. Because Vic might've found a coping method, but Jaime had yet to find one. And although he didn't particularly like Kellin, he still felt strangely upset and guilty about what happened to him.

"I'm sorry." Vic's gruff voice spoke. The scratchiness and dryness of his voice caught him off guard as he coughed a bit. Jaime stared him into his eyes, tidal waves of sadness rolled off of him as he returned Jaime's stare. "I've been so stupid lately, and all I could ever think about is forgetting Kellin, not trying to save him. And I've made no progress with trying to find out where he was taken to and I've been treating you like shit."

"You don't deserve any of this, Jaime. You shouldn't have to take care of me and watch me but you do and I could never be more grateful." Vic spoke with regret to Jaime and hate for himself. If he could've just focused on the main task then he would've never been in this hospital bed and Jenna wouldn't have died so soon. There was no doubt though that with the way she was doing drugs that she would've died soon anyway.