How I Love You

How You Trash Me

Evan

Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. I will repeat it until it sounds foreign and I will forever write it until I don't know how to spell it. You are absolute garbage, completely pathetic. You don't deserve to continue living like this, getting away with inflicting pain like its a sport. I won't apologize for my blunt rudeness cause I'm sick and tired of yours and everyone's excuses. If I hear your name, I'll retract, and if I see your face, I'll react, with my right knee, up yours, dumbass fugitive. Go and refuse but you are and always will be a murderer, a rapist and drug addict  gangster. No stupid ass saying in ink on your forearm is gonna fucking change that. Go ahead and snort that cocaine and fuck up your brain; it's not like you ever cared anyways. But I justify and I doubt even though no one ever says "rape" enough. Speak up and take a stand, they say but now I see the bravery that comes with exposing the biggest sore on the body: the heart, throbbing and bleeding for the wrong cause. The worst case: believing someone cared and would never hurt you and would take care of you and yet somehow they were the one person you should've stayed far away from. Instead, I fell in love. So deeply in it I thought it was a cold puddle. Now I have to relearn what caring about a person really means. I just know for a fucking fact it's not what you did with me. When I see any symptoms of this reoccurring disease in a friend, I push them away. They hurt me? Gone. They ignore me? Gone. They lie to me? Gone. I can't ever again find myself feeling this way. I refuse and I protest and I reject. I am not running away from my problems, I declare; I am protecting myself from disgusting, trashy things like you.