Letters.

I haven't found a better method of pretending you were just some lover.

Ever since you left i haven't been the same.

You used to say it would last forever, you used to tell me nothing would tear us apart, and instead of being with me in my lowest days, you left me 'cause i wasn't good enough.
Remember your words, darling?
"I'm so lucky to have you."
They're still in my head and my heart.

The day you left was the blackest of them all. Your harsh words and your rough way to say them was what destroyed me.
It's hard to know i had the love of my life in my hands and i let it spill through my fingers like sand, like water.

Ever since you left i've been rolling around, chasing hearts, but nothing will ever be the same.
I give them what they want, they fall in love, they give me what i need and suddenly they leave.

When will you come home?
Where did my hero go?

I question myself everynight. Why did i let him leave?
Was it really my fault?
I can't express how much i hate myself for loving you so much.
I was just a boy when you decided i would be the perfect lab rat, you played me bad.

What did i become?
I'm a shade of what i used to be.
When you left, the kind words left too, that nice and pure part of myself i gave you left as well.

My heart left, too.

And i can only think of the times when we were on the top of the world. Singing our songs, leaving everyone speechless; Feeling in love.

But it won't ever be the same again.

Now you sleep with him, now you kiss him, now you've fucked him.
Now you love him.

But i haven't found a better method of pretending you were just some lover.

The letters you wrote me, the songs i wrote you, the gifts you gave me, the hugs i gave you. Your smell, your scent, your spirit, your face.
And all of the things i won't ever forget.
Forgive me for what i did to you.

But i never loved anyone the same i loved you.

This time i won't cry myself to sleep like a sucker.
This time i won't write you a thousand songs until sleep takes over me.
This time, in the cruel morning; i won't be alive.

I'm sorry, love.
I said i'd love you to death.
And i need to erase you from my mind.

So long, and goodbye.