Letters.

The never ending games that you play. (Inbetween)

🌸A/N🌸
This is a small kinda mattlex letter i wrote so the book could keep its main theme. This is also kinda a vent chapter(? Idk i just wrote it while i was sobbing and shiz and yeah.

If it makes you sad or summat, hit up my dms on instagram and i'll make sure your emotions are okay.

Love you guys, thanks for supporting all this.
Ciao.
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I get it, Matt, i get it.
I was a joke for you; just a game you were playing so you wouldn't get bored.

Just an object you could use whenever you were tired of the routine.
And i was stupid to believe you were really in love with me.
Your kisses were poison and i'd end up full of toxicity by the time you were done playing with me. Maybe that's why you never called, maybe that's why you started seeing other girls while i was here at home waiting for you with dinner on the table and candles, sorrounded by nothing but darkness and sadness. I was sad 'cause i knew i wasn't your first option. I was sad because whenever you felt "In the mood" i had to be in it too. But when i wanted to feel loved, when i needed your embrace, you were always busy. You weren't here.

What breaks my heart the most is that while i'm here writing this letter you're out there having fun with a random girl you barely know. Getting high and drunk kissing someone you don't even love. But, it's okay. You've kissed me too. And you don't love me, as well.

Little do you know that by the time you come home i won't be here anymore. I'll run away. Or i'll fucking kill myself, it'll be my own fucking decision. It's none of your damn business. You were never worried when i told you i was sad, you didn't even complain all those times i told you i wasn't hungry, even when you knew i didn't had dinner the night before, and the other night, and all the week.

I was starving. But i didn't need food, i needed your love.

"We accept the love we think we deserve." Right.
And by what i've been told, i deserve the sky, the sun, the moon and all of the stars. But you couldn't even give me a grain of sand.

Maybe i was too innocent to know what i was getting into when you said "Would your mum have a problem if we date?".

But it's over, Matt. It's over. I'm done with all your lies. Done with all your never ending games. All the fake shit that comes out of your mouth when you say you love me.

I'm through with you, Matthew.

Goodbye
-Alex.